I have a long history of dating dysfunctional people. The one thing I could always be sure of is if he was interested in me, there was definitely something wrong with him. Not because I was such a horrible person, but because it’s what I attracted – exclusively.

“It is only in being stepped on that we have no choice but to learn to stand up for ourselves.” -unknown

Imagine for a moment that the purpose for every single one of us, was to learn, to grow and to become more God like. Imagine also, that we got to decide what lessons we learned, what parents we’d have, what bodies we’d live in, what obstacles we’d face and what people we would encounter.

“Until we make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” – Carl Jung

Why do we keep going around and around on the same relationship merry-go-round, when we already know what’s coming and we have every reason to get off? Many people are stuck in relationships they know they shouldn’t be in, relationships with dysfunctional, emotional manipulators, that drain them of their energy, tap their resources and leave them feeling used and abused.

“I don’t want to be in another relationship….ever.” This is one of the most common statements I hear from clients, as they move forward in their healing and that makes sense. Who would want to engage in something that was so painful and traumatic?

My 60-year-old aunt said, as she took my teenage hands in hers, “Look at her hands.” I looked down at my hands, then at hers. Her hands were covered in age spots. They were dry, and dehydrated-looking and the skin looked thin, like it was stretched too tightly over her veins. I had the young, firm, dewy hands of youth and it never dawned on me that someday, I too, would have age spots and dry, crepey skin.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to get back to all the questions I receive every day. Here’s a few great ones from this past month that I’m sure others can relate to. I’ve changed the names, places and descriptions to protect the author’s identity, as well, I’ve edited down the original text for spacial purposes.

Q. I have read your blog for a while now. The reason why I am reaching out to you is

Movies, television, music, poems and plays have forever romanticized the concept of unrequited love. While the notion of a broken heart might have been amusing during Shakespeare’s time, today the idea of chasing after someone, that doesn’t want you, should be outlandish.