When you are in a place of needing someone to the point of obsession you are on very dangerous ground. Not only have you surrendered your power, you have also traded your inner peace for chaos.

Being all-in in a relationship doesn’t mean surrendering your identity and allowing yourself to become lost in it. It means that you are committed to the relationship and your partner, while still maintaining your autonomy, interests, hobbies and other meaningful relationships.

So much time, energy and emotion is spent trying to understand why emotional manipulators do what they do. The answer has never been a secret. It’s always been in plain sight, but perhaps due to its simplicity and our inability to relate, we shrug it off and continue the search for some way where we can blame ourselves.

The Law of Addiction: Any re-engagement with an addictive substance, by a recovering addict, will cause an automatic re-addiction.

Implementing the No Contact rule, on a toxic relationship, gives us a measure of control, over a relationship that seems, very much, out of our control.

Breaking up is hard to do. Unrequited love has inspired more works of art than anything else on earth. For many, letting go of a relationship is a lot more than just detaching from a person. It can mean having to let go of an ideal, a dream or fantasy, a lifestyle, or family and friends. For other’s, it could be as difficult as getting over an addiction, or  something so painful that it leaves us feeling emotionally crippled.

Many recovering Codependents find themselves completely uninterested in starting a new relationship. They struggle with the fear of being powerless and caught, once again, in a Narcissist’s trap. Many build up walls and refuse to let people in. They’ve become emotionally unavailable and distrusting of anyone looking to get close to them. Their armor is thick and impenetrable.

“Those who don’t know the value of loyalty can never understand the cost of betrayal.”  – Unknown

The worst part about betrayal is that it doesn’t come from your enemies, it comes from people you know and trust.  It is one of those character-defining actions that speak volumes about a person’s integrity. Likewise, your behavior following a betrayal also speaks volumes about your emotional health.

I have a long history of dating dysfunctional people. The one thing I could always be sure of is if he was interested in me, there was definitely something wrong with him. Not because I was such a horrible person, but because it’s what I attracted – exclusively.