I have a long history of dating dysfunctional people. The one thing I could always be sure of is if he was interested in me, there was definitely something wrong with him. Not because I was such a horrible person, but because it’s what I attracted – exclusively.

Dating a Narcissist is like watching someone on a job interview. The initial impression is great. They’re charismatic, witty and charming. But once they get the job, they become the worst, most disgruntled employee ever. They’re antagonistic and downright miserable just looking to get fired.

If you want to hurt someone, you have to first know what they care about and what they’re afraid of. When you know what someone cares about, you can threaten to have it taken away. When you know what they’re afraid of, you can threaten to expose them to it.

I often wondered about it, especially in the early going, how I would feel when I got the news that my ex-Narcissist ended his relationship, with the woman he left me for. There was never any question of it happening, only of how and when. I knew him. I knew his patterns, how he thought and operated. Hell, I even started a blog on it.

Back in our parent’s day, men chased women. Women had the goods, men wanted the goods, so they pursued. That’s just the way it was.  Times are very different now, the need to pursue is simply, just, antiquated thinking. “The goods” are a lot more easily acquired and with the simplicity of finding a mate online, you can pick and choose which relationships you want to put your energy into.

About this time of year, we are inundated with happy Christmas movies – the plot is usually something like a family encounters a crisis and needs to work together to get through it and in the end the experience has brought everyone together, where they are a lot closer and everyone has learned something important about the other and the true meaning of Christmas.

“It is only in being stepped on that we have no choice but to learn to stand up for ourselves.” -unknown

Imagine for a moment that the purpose for every single one of us, was to learn, to grow and to become more God like. Imagine also, that we got to decide what lessons we learned, what parents we’d have, what bodies we’d live in, what obstacles we’d face and what people we would encounter.