Motivation, drive, desire, passion, whatever you want to call it, people have been trying to figure out how to get it and how to harness it for centuries.  What makes LeBron so much better than everyone else? What made Payton Manning stay and practice harder and longer to perfect his arm? What made Sidney Crosby shoot pucks into his mother’s clothes dryer all night, while all of his friends were watching TV and playing video games? What makes people work harder to achieve their dreams, while others continue to dwell in mediocrity?

Anxiety is a debilitating disease. It’s those oppressive thoughts and feelings that become so overwhelming that you can barely function, let alone breathe. It is the persistent over examining of every little detail, analyzing then overanalyzing all incoming data, while constantly checking it for slights or wrongs. It’s that tightness in your chest or gut that makes you feel all twisted up inside. It’s the cause of your heart palpitations and your irritability. It’s the voice in your head

“When we protect ourselves so we won’t feel pain, that protection becomes like armor that imprisons the softness of the heart.” – Pema Chodron

For most of my life I’ve kept people at an emotional distance. Not so much friends, but romantic partners. Subconsciously, I believed that if I didn’t let myself get too close to someone then it wouldn’t hurt me when they left. If I didn’t let them get too close to me then they would never really know me, so when they did reject me, it wasn’t really

I get a lot of emails asking a lot of the same types of questions and so this week I thought it might be a good idea to post some of the most common themes.

Question: I’ve been dating someone for almost a year and he will make plans with me and then he doesn’t show up. He doesn’t call me to cancel and I can’t reach him when I call. It makes me crazy, but he’s always got an excuse and then he is so nice to me after that it makes me overlook what he’s done. Why can’t he

We all want to be liked, it’s part of the human condition, but that need can become excessive and unhealthy when it becomes our primary focus. Codependents often have a very strong impulse to please others, especially those that reject them. It’s a unique dynamic where the more someone pulls away from them, the stronger the lure is for the codependent.

Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people. Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association….characteristics include affection, sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism, mutual understanding and compassion, enjoyment of each other’s company, trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one’s feelings, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend. – Wikipedia

How many people have had this happen to them: You get involved with someone you like, you’re intimate,

“When it comes to relationships I just have two different people inside fighting for supremacy.”  – Narcissist

One of the most difficult aspects of recovering from Narcissistic abuse, is having to watch the one that hurt you walk away completely unscathed. Many move on and behave like you and your relationship never even existed, while you are still deeply affected by the trauma. What I try to tell people,