Requires excessive admiration – DSM IV

The need for attention and admiration is really at the crux of Narcissism.  A Narcissist’s low self-esteem, insecurity and a fear of abandonment mean that they are always seeking validation from outside sources.

Believes he is “special” and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).

Many victims of Narcissistic abuse have spent sleepless nights agonizing over their Narcissist’s behavior. They get tripped up on trying to decipher intent and motive. The problem with that is, very often, a Narcissist’s behavior isn’t logical. It defies the laws of common sense and decency and for a non-Narcissist it’s very difficult to figure out.  

*Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love – NPD criteria DSM4

Have you ever had a conversation with someone, who you know is rather arrogant, and all of a sudden, they start boasting something about themselves (their abilities, work, appearance, achievements, sexual prowess) that is so outlandish and obviously untrue, that you have to stop yourself from laughing out loud?

There is a great misconception amongst Codependents and that is – I can win the approval of people who don’t like me, by being overly friendly, by over-complimenting, over-dong and over-giving. At this time of year many of us will find ourselves in difficult situations, where we are forced to spend time with people, who trigger us and who, have a history of being unkind to us.

Loneliness is difficult at the best of times, but during the holidays, being alone can be excruciating for those attempting to put their lives back together.  Going No Contact with toxic friends and family members is often a part of the healing process, while one learns who they want in their front row, who they need to remove and how to create and enforce healthy boundaries, with those that are left.

She walked into the seminar room with her head held high. She was wearing a grey business suit with a white button-up blouse. Her hair was a unique hue of copper and blonde. Her stride to the podium was confident and graceful. If she was nervous about speaking in front of 100 people, there were no outward signs.

Feels grandiose and self-important (e.g., exaggerates accomplishments, talents, skills, contacts, and personality traits to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements) – One of Nine Narcissistic Personality Disorder Criteria DSM 4