When you are in a place of needing someone to the point of obsession you are on very dangerous ground. Not only have you surrendered your power, you have also traded your inner peace for chaos.

Being all-in in a relationship doesn’t mean surrendering your identity and allowing yourself to become lost in it. It means that you are committed to the relationship and your partner, while still maintaining your autonomy, interests, hobbies and other meaningful relationships.

One of the tell-tale signs of low self-esteem is how one reacts to rejection. Do you pick up and move on quickly? Do you beg and plead and try to change their mind? The way you behave depends upon where you lie within a spectrum of three different types, the Move-Oners, the Validation-Seekers, or the Revengers.

By spending holiday’s together, taking family trips, and outwardly expressing love and respect, celebrity co-parenting really looks awesome. Unfortunately, it’s not the reality for most divorced couples and it’s an impossibility for those who share children with a Narcissist.

Is it the chicken or the egg? Do you love yourself first and then act like it, or do you act like it and then self-love follows? Or can you be in both spaces at the same time?

Healing isn’t for the faint of heart.  It’s hard work. In fact, it’s up there, amongst the hardest work you will ever do in your life.  Most people have spent their lifetimes hiding from their childhood trauma.   Dredging it up from the recesses of your memory and reliving it, are not really on most people’s to do list.

At the heart of self-esteem is action. It’s the implementation of self-care behaviors, that determine how one values themselves.

What that means is, If I do not love and value myself I may partake in activities that are self-punishing, and self-harming. Conversely, if I love myself, my behaviors will reflect love, respect and care for my well-being.  

Breaking up is hard to do. Unrequited love has inspired more works of art than anything else on earth. For many, letting go of a relationship is a lot more than just detaching from a person. It can mean having to let go of an ideal, a dream or fantasy, a lifestyle, or family and friends. For other’s, it could be as difficult as getting over an addiction, or  something so painful that it leaves us feeling emotionally crippled.