Conquering Codependency is akin to maneuvering through a battle field. You have to constantly be mindful of where you are, you’ve got battle after battle after battle, both internal and external and you have to always be on the look-out for shrapnel and falling bombs from overhead.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to get back to all the questions I receive every day. Here’s a few great ones from this past month that I’m sure others can relate to. I’ve changed the names, places and descriptions to protect the author’s identity, as well, I’ve edited down the original text for spacial purposes.

Q. I have read your blog for a while now. The reason why I am reaching out to you is

Learning to love yourself is among the most important work you will ever do here on this earth. When you come from a toxic childhood, where the message you kept getting was, “You’re not good enough,” it makes the task exponentially more difficult.

Movies, television, music, poems and plays have forever romanticized the concept of unrequited love. While the notion of a broken heart might have been amusing during Shakespeare’s time, today the idea of chasing after someone, that doesn’t want you, should be outlandish.

A relationship usually goes through 4 stages. First you have two single people, next is dating, followed by a committed couple, which is then proceeded by marriage. People and relationships can stall out at any stage or remain at one stage for long periods of time.

I can recall, early in my dating career, many occasions where I really let myself down. There were plenty of cringe-worthy moments where I would let something slide or hold something in and never stand up for myself. My love interest would say or do something completely inappropriate and I knew if I spoke up it would mean a huge fight and the end of that relationship. It wasn’t that I didn’t know I was being disrespected and it wasn’t that it didn’t hurt me deeply, but my fear of rejection and abandonment was greater than my need to be treated with love and respect.

Kristie and Steve had been seeing each other on and off for almost 4 years. It has really been more off than on and she has even gone as long as 7 months without any contact, but, “As always,” she says, “He pulls me back in.” The relationship was full of other women, hot and cold spells, disrespect, using and an infinite number of lies. All good reasons in and of themselves to end the relationship.