Wow, that escalated quickly! You never meant for your conversation to get so heated. You were just trying to get your point across and then suddenly, mean and hurtful jabs were coming at you left and right. How did this get so out of control? What did you say to set them off like that? And what do you do now? Is your relationship over?

When you mix Sodium (Na) and water (H2O) together you will get an explosive chemical reaction. The same thing happens when you mix different personality types together with a dash of conflict.

When I was a young girl, there was a TV show called Fame that aired in the 80’s. It was about the experiences of young people studying at a school of fine arts. What was so memorable to me was a speech by Phylicia Rashad that occurred in the opening sequence of each episode. It went something like this, “You’ve got big dreams? You want fame? Well fame costs and right here is where you start paying – with sweat.”

Ingrid Roekke once said, “A child that is being abused doesn’t stop loving it’s parents, it stops loving itself.” A lack of self-love is the number one cause of toxic adult relationships. When something isn’t important to us we neglect it, we don’t treat it well and we don’t think much of it. But what happens when that thing is us?

She walked into the seminar room with her head held high. She was wearing a grey business suit with a white button-up blouse. Her hair was a unique hue of copper and blonde. Her stride to the podium was confident and graceful. If she was nervous about speaking in front of 100 people, there were no outward signs.

It’s normal to be sad after a break-up. They hurt after all. What adds to the anguish, though, is the fact that, Codependents have a knack of blocking out all of the bad stuff and making the tiniest decent gesture, by their ex, a monumental experience. When the time comes to morn the relationship, the tools you have developed, determine how quickly you’ll get over it.

You’re sitting at your desk at work, trying to concentrate and there it is, that old familiar feeling you know so well. That pain in your chest isn’t heartburn, it’s heartache. The feeling overwhelms you and you can’t shake it. This is nothing like you’ve ever dealt with before, because nothing makes it go away. It’s driving you crazy. It’s all you think about day and night and night and day.