I took a month off from blogging so that I could focus on getting a new project off the ground and at the same time I moved to a new city an hour and a half away. The move was stressful, as most moves are and I left a job I had been at for many, many years.
My new project was ripe with problems, glitches and more glitches. Which, naturally caused me to feel stressed, anxious, annoyed and aggravated. I was angry with my old boss and frustrated with my new business partner.
The frustrations seemed to keep piling up and I was reminded of something I really needed a refresher in.
How You Feel is Your Choice
You get to choose how you think and feel. Your attitude is controlled by only one person – you. We all have 3 ways of looking at things:
- I always succeed. (Positive)
- I’m okay with whatever happens. (Neutral/Autopilot)
- I always fail. (Negative)
Take a look at the big issues in your life – Money, Health and Relationships. We all want to be happy, but you don’t get to happy when your attitude is #2 or #3. When you’re neutral and acting on autopilot, you get more of the same – more average. When you believe that you will always fail – you will.
A decade ago, I wrote out my then relationships with Money, Health and Relationships and it looked something like this:
Money: I barely have enough to get through the month. It’s always a struggle. I never get promoted or hired for better jobs. Nothing I try ever works out. It’s never good enough. Getting rich is easy for others, but impossible for me, no matter what I do.
Relationships: No one likes me – not even my own mother. Everyone leaves me eventually. I was taught long ago that I’m not worthy of love because I am so flawed and I believe it.
Health: My father died young – I’m going to die young too. Nothing I do to improve my health lasts. I can eat healthy and exercise but eventually I stop, something knocks me off my path and I have to start at square one again.
Those were very damaging thoughts and they told the story of my life up until then. They often weren’t so obvious. They were, more often than not, that quiet voice inside me that kept telling me – you can’t.
It took a lot of insight to get to the heart of how I really thought and felt about myself. I had read a lot of books and watched a lot of videos and done an enormous amount of soul searching. I’m a Philosopher at heart and tend to howl at the moon and the need to understand how things work, or how I work, in this case, pushes me to find the answers.
I came across a book decades ago called Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude, by Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone and the authors illustrated that within all of us there is an invisible talisman marked Positive Mental Attitude on one side and Negative Mental Attitude on the other. They opened me up to the idea that we get to choose how we look at things and the book is full of real-life stories of people who had gained great success and others who had experienced incredible failures all based on the attitude they chose to take with them.
One thing I know for sure is that you can’t go out on a date and expect success when inwardly you believe that you are not worthy of love and your entire being is emoting that – no one likes you and everyone leaves you.
You can’t expect to succeed in business when your vibration is that of someone who is already defeated, who believes that they never have success and that no one ever chooses them.
As energy beings we all have magnetic energy. We are magnets. We bring to us what we put out there. Esther Hicks author of many best-selling books on the Law of Attraction calls them ‘rockets of desire.’ Every thought, feeling and belief we send out to the Universe, whether on purpose or not, becomes a rocket of desire and it brings us closer to that which we think.
After my car accident, that took the life of my mother, I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I kept seeing myself crashing into other cars. It terrified me and I was afraid to drive. The thought would pop into my head every day and it came jam packed with a ton of emotion. I had never been in a car accident before. I was a very confident driver, but a few months of these powerful visions, thoughts and emotions found me driving in snowy conditions and when I had to stop, I hit a patch of slush and ice and hydro-planed right into another car. Two accidents within a year was not something I ever thought would happen to me.
From that experience I knew that what all those authors were saying was true. I just got to experience the negative aspect of it. I recognized it and forced myself to stop having those thoughts and feelings and I haven’t been in another accident since.
You may resent your Ex that hurt you. You might be angry at your parents, co-workers or friends and you probably have every reason to feel that way. But when we experience those thoughts and feelings, those rockets of desire shoot out to the universe and deliver more experiences for us to feel resentful and angry.
Flipping Your Talisman from a Negative Mental Attitude to a Positive Mental Attitude
Every day we get to choose how to feel about what’s going on in our lives. Most of the time we don’t think about it and the thoughts keep coming without any interference or awareness from us. We let them take the reins and shape how we feel and act and thus, create a future of like-wise experiences, but there is a way we can change how we deal with our thoughts.
Stop Talking about Negative Events and Emotions
When that co-worker at the office acts like a total a**hole all you want to do is come home and vent to your friends and family. We tell ourselves that it feels good to get it off our chests and have those closest to us agree with us and confirm our assessment. Same goes for when your Ex is being a real s**thole about the kids. It’s natural for us to feel aggravated and spew off to anyone who will listen. This has become habitual for most of us. All of us are guilty of talking about our problems, or talking badly about the sleazy neighbor down the street. But is it really helping us?
Don’t vent, don’t participate in gossip, don’t talk negatively about others or yourself. Don’t listen to other people venting. Don’t do it, because you’re the one that will be paying the price, with more to complain about in the future.
If you want to make your life better and experience more positivity, you have to learn not to focus on the negative. Don’t talk about it. Don’t think about it and knock it out of your airspace when it comes flying by.
Ask yourself – “Is this an empowering thought?” If the answer is no, then let it go.
Our Emotions are Like Gasoline
A negative thought bouncing around in our head isn’t good. We know that, but when we add emotion to the thought it takes off.
When an emotionally charged feeling comes to you and it isn’t positive you need to let it go immediately, say to your thought – ‘nope I’m not going there,’ and focus on something positive. Don’t give it a voice, don’t give it wings. And by God, don’t let that rocket take off.
I’ve found that successful people don’t pay any attention to things that don’t dance to their tune. If someone doesn’t like them, they don’t go into fits trying to change that person’s mind or figure out why. They don’t argue, they just don’t care if you like or agree with them.
When you’re Ex is late with the child support payment for the 100th time. Don’t get mad. Don’t allow yourself to get frustrated – let the court deal with it. The more you focus on how exasperating he or she can be – the more they will be.
Save your emotions for your passions, for the ones you love, the things you enjoy doing and for your dreams. Give them wings and let them fly.
Tell yourself that money loves you, health loves you and your relationships want you and put yourself in the right frequency to receive them.
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