I get downright giddy when I see something that I strongly believe in manifest in real life. I never want to wish ill will on someone, but what I witnessed this week reminded me, yet again, of the importance of our emotional energy.
Up until about 2006 I lived a very low energy life. I don’t mean I was tired all the time. I mean the feelings I carried around with me were low energy in nature. I felt heartbroken all the time. I felt not good enough, hard done by, like a martyr and a number of other low vibrational feelings. Low energy was my default setting.
That doesn’t mean I didn’t believe I was a good person. I thought I was nice and kind and generous, but I felt heavy, buried underneath the weight of generations of emotional baggage. My feelings didn’t come out of nowhere either. People did hurt me, so I did feel heartbroken, I was hard done by, because I was not being treated fairly and I felt like a martyr, because I was always the one to go without, so other people could have.
When you walk around with this kind of energy, you draw more situations and circumstances to you that are at the same energy level that you are. This is nothing new, but the more I have become aware of it, the more I see it in my life and in the lives of others.
This week, a woman I work with, came running into my office, “Someone banged into my car,” she said, her anger palpable. “I was parked in the parking lot and they just took off. Nobody saw anything.”
Certainly this incident could happen to anybody and it alone doesn’t add up to much, but when you look closely at the individual and all of the things that have happened to her in just this past year, you can’t help but notice something pretty incredible.
I’ve written about this woman before, most recently in my blog entitled the Power of Indifference. She is always negative, mean and nasty. Her coworkers have tried to use white sage and smokey crystals to combat the negative energy that spews forth from her. She has, without a doubt, had a very difficult life. She has every reason to feel the way she does, but the point I’m trying to make here is that we all have reasons to feel negatively – but the consequences of doing so mean that you will just bring forth more negativity.
To exemplify my point, here is a list of things that have happened to her in the past year:
- Someone broke into her house while she was sleeping and stole her lap top, tablet, phone, purse and car
- Her husband totaled a car she is still paying for
- She flew to England to visit her brother and his wife, they wouldn’t let her stay with them and she barely saw them
- Her car, before this one, got hit by a bus in the same parking lot (keep in mind no one else out of 20 staff members have had problems in the parking lot)
- Her husband of 35 years barely speaks to her – it’s safe to say they hate each other – on Thanksgiving he walked into the kitchen where she sat with her daughter and her daughter’s in-laws and her husband walked in humiliated her in front of everyone by slinging a bunch of curse words at her
This poor woman lives paycheck to paycheck and is barely getting by, so each of these losses are pretty catastrophic. When you are in the same room with her it’s impossible not to pick up on her anger and frustration energy – which she carries with her every single day. This energy brings to her, events and circumstances that match the same frequency of exactly where she is vibrationally.
We have all tried to help and counsel her at different times, but unfortunately, she is one of those people that resents the fact that you don’t think she already knows that and she does not appear to be open to introspection or growth of any kind, so suffice it to say, all our words are a wasted effort.
On the flip side, our big boss is the complete opposite. Another boss joked that all the lights turn green in his world. His wife keeps getting more attractive as she ages, he makes more money than he knows what to do with, he has a great social life and his oldest child is now getting 100% on her exams in University. The most important quality I’ve noticed in him is that he finds humor in everything. He takes offense to nothing and laughs at everything.
You may argue that, I don’t know what’s going on in my boss’s life, but here’s the kicker. Since I’ve become a higher energy person, he and his wife have become close friends, so I see on a daily basis, how their attitude affects their everyday life.
The reason this is important is, because, as Wayne Dyer has said, “You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are.” If you are stuck feeling low energy feelings, you are going to attract low energy people and low energy events.
Hopefully, this is added motivation for those of you still heavily invested in your Narcissistic relationships. When I finally understood that the longer I stayed in a haze and kept ignoring reality and being in pain, the longer I was going to keep attracting the same events over and over. When I kept seeing proof of it happening in my life, I made a mad sprint to get rid of the people in my life that brought about those feelings in me. Getting rid of people was the easy part. Changing my own thinking and feelings was harder. It’s all about awareness and practice.
Pay attention to what you’re feeling all the time. If you’re just out of a Narcissistic relationship, feeling good is going to take some time and you have to be patient with yourself. You’re going to feel raw for a while, but it doesn’t mean that you don’t actively try to feel better and you do that by practice.
And by practice I mean creating the feelings inside of you that you want to feel and spend time feeling them. Know what high energy feelings feel like, practice feeling them. The best way to do that is by spending a few minutes in guided meditation. I have loaded a short video on Youtube that you’ll see at the bottom of this page. It’s a practice I do every day. I bring myself to the good feeling place and I feel amazing afterward and I carry it with me throughout my day. I do it in my car. I do it before bed. I do it whenever I notice my feelings aren’t positive and aren’t making me feel good. Everybody’s got 5 minutes – not only does it feel great – it raises your energy level so that you become attracted to higher energy events and circumstances. Who doesn’t want that? Give it a try you won’t do anything more important today for your wellbeing.
Your Comments!!!!!!
Subscribe to our mailing list and get our weekly posts right to your inbox and Like us on Facebook to get our quotes and updates.
Do you need to talk? Check out our new feature Skype with Savannah by clicking on this link.
Image courtesy of cooldesign at freedigitalphotos.net
I really like your meditation video – thank you.
I would suggest a different picture. The woman is obviously a drawing, because her body isn’t even realistic. I just say this, because I think if we are going to be empowered, we need to be aware of the subliminal messages in these kinds of pictures, i.e. that this is what a healthy woman looks like doing yoga. Which is obviously, not true. Real Women have weight, and curves, not just small waists and big breasts.
I mean no disrespect – just an observation. Much Love
Lotho yes the picture is a drawing – a free drawing. I like free.
I was looking for something to calm me and make me believe in myself. Thank you for the meditation clip. Definitely going to make use of it. Savannah, thank you for your wisdom and the encouragement with knowing that knowledge is power and there is no turning back. I can only grow from here within myself. What gives me hope is knowing that I am not alone. I found a safe haven where I can voice my true feelings. I don’t know whether I am the only one, but I find that this is a lonely Road. We are not understood and when we think we are, it is people with hidden or alternative motives?
Savannah I wanted to write few words because it’s been almost exactly a year to date that I found your site and woke up. At that time you and some of other members helped me take the first step and go no contact with my narc of 2.5 yrs. I maintained it for 4 great months but then slipped and entered into the craziest 8mo of my life where I’d be with him few weeks, would get fed up again, break up go no contact for few, give in and get back and so on, many of us know this dance. But while this insanity went on I also faithfully read your blog, started seeing a therapist to deal with my childhood trauma, started meditating, doing reiki, affirmations and visualization, really anything that was positive and healing no matter how odd it seemed at first. I also read Wayde Dyer’s “Erroneous Zones” and that really hit home, showed me how I didn’t love and respect myself and how that showed up in my daily life and actions. Goal of all this was to become more positive and, as I learned more about vibrations, raise mine.
Anyways, it wasn’t easy and straightforward, as much as we’d like a quick and simple solution nothing in life works like that, it’s a process. And even at times when I felt like I was going backwards or thought to myself wth am I doing, I kept on. And then strange things started happening. All of a sudden people started commenting on how different I seem, in a positive way. I found myself getting bursts of happines out of nowhere. My personal and professional relationships started improving. And the more I trusted and listened to myself the more my intuition would kick in. The only person who didn’t think I changed for better was my narc who started talking about how all of a sudden I was angry (because I’d stand up for myself) or uncarrying (because I’d no longer help him financially) or all about myself (because I’d upheld my boundaries) etc. but none of his words stung or sent me in the panic mode as they once did. And then after our last break up the most amazing thing happened, I was free. Yes I was still sad but I no longer felt hooked in or was freaking out or was questioning myself. It really was quite amazing. All of a sudden those “I think about you all the time” and “I miss you” texts no longer mattered. Neither did the calls or grand gestures or promises of change. I truly felt liberated. I can’t quite explain it but I believe it’s because I was able to raise my vibrational level to where his low vibrations were no longer resonating. Instead of being magnet to metal, now it’s like two magnets repelling each other. I still appreciate him as another human being and someone who was a conduit to my personal growth but I no longer pine for him or need him to feel whole and I realize he has no place in my life. And I didn’t even have to be angry to say that to him which, in the past, was the only way I was able to end our relationship. Now it’s simply because it’s not good for me and no one has to be the bad guy and I don’t have to explain my feelings.
So thank you Savannah, this article is so on point. It might not make sense to everybody because everyone is on their own journey but that doesn’t take away from it. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s resplendent. There’s no easy way to get there and no quick fix solution and if that’s what people are looking for they’re not ready. But life is full of amazing things and the more time we spend focusing on those instead of the negative, pretty soon it’ll be mainly all we see. I wish everyone the best of luck on their journey xo
Poppy:
Standing applauding. I feel like I should be handing you a jacket, welcoming you to the club. When you get it – you can’t unget it. It really is a light switch and then everything makes sense. Congrats on your journey!!!!
I agree with this entirely. I also believe that we can’t ignore the moments when we are feeling low. As you’ve stated before, you have to go in to get out. Jeff Brown is one of my new favorite authors who, time and time again reminds me that we cannot bypass the internal “low stuff”. Healing doesn’t work that way. We don’t have take up residence in the low stuff, but we need to heed its message.
Just what I needed to hear at this point. I am just dicovering that as my energy level is rising and that I don’t want to be around the negative energy people–and have decided that I need to listen to that and stay away from them–listen to my gut–and do what gives me joy and be with who gives me joy in return. 🙂
Savannah, what do you think when you hear “a man can change for the right woman” i was just listening to Steve Harvey and you know he asserts that his now wife changed him from his man dog ways of the past. He states over and over on his show that a man will change for the right woman. I find this so confusing and am not sure how to feel about this statement.
Loved the meditation video. I plan to use it a lot.
ST everyone, barring a Narcissist or a Psychopath, has the ability to change. But a lot of factors would have to come into play – for one the person would have to want to change and take the steps necessary to do so and for two the relationship would have to start out with these expectations. I think the partner would have to have boundaries and high standards and would have to hold the other person accountable with consequences. Is it possible? Sure but I’m of the train of thought that for change to be lasting it has to be for the right reasons and those reasons generally have to come from within not without.
Savannah, You make total sense, to most of your followers it would seem anyway. I hope Tricia understands that you’re not trying to, nor can you change the universe for everyone, for the better, it’s beyond your control, that would make you a magician (if only) which you’ve never protested to be. Your thought process really does work for the individual..
Not so long ago I was desperate and I couldn’t understand what was going on and how my life had become the way it had. I was battered and bruised mentally and it started to get physical too.
I had Red flags from date one.. My gut went into overdrive but I chose to ignore it, wanting it all to turn out ok.. My intuition told me it wouldn’t but ever the people pleaser, the tryer, I wanted to believe it would all be ok – if I just loved him enough and showed him it can all be ok if he would only trust me enough to allow me to help.. I was driven to the brink of insanity, almost. I didn’t trust in myself to do the simplist of things. Gaslighted, triangulation, abuse, things said subliminally/criptically….. I knew what was happening, by instinct I knew it wasn’t right, but could I resonate with this behaviour or put a name to it? No! So instead I went thru months of thinking it was me… I was the one going deaf, when the bastard was purposely speaking in a low, muttering voice, so when I constantly said “pardon?” He’d get angry as I was so ‘deaf’!!!!! he’d throw the ball at the wall so it would land on me (and subsequently his dog would follow it and jump on me leaving me bleeding) this happened twice. He’d roll over in bed and “accidentally” elbowed me in the back winding me (always awake to say sorry tho) 12-15 x’s in 8 months. Told me he’d throw acid in my face so no one would ever want me… I asked why he’d say such a thing and he’d have his narc stare (dead) saying I’d imagined it and “you alright? You might need to go and get help babe”…… Porn addict… No relationship previous to me went over 6 months but “they were all crazy” don’t you know!?
Then I woke up! I followed you and read everything as though we knew the same man. I sought help to establish if it was me!? Was I going nuts. Of course I knew I wasn’t but I’m not näive enough to to think the world around you goes crazy and I’m immune… After all, he thinks he’s normal, why should I think I am?
I learned my parents are narcissistic and I am mourning me as a child now. I now know that I’ve inner wounds, caused from my childhood that are open and that’s why this piece of shit got to rub in the salt..
I’m a believer that everything happens for a reason. I met this waste of cells for a reason and it’s to deal with somethings I burried a long time ago. He has awoken things that, in an ideal world should never have happened, but second to that, should never have been buried away, but that’s life. His abuse was timely for me, I now understand, as I’m ready to deal with my past to ensure this never happens to me again. If the wounds are closed this can’t happen EVER again… They’re like sharks to the scent of blood…. My only regret is the girls he’ll continue to do this too, he has his harem already, he always made me aware of it, and I can’t do a damn thing to help them. But Patrick, I’m not done with my healing yet, but I will be soon, but you will always have a great big empty hole of nothingness eating away at your none existent self, whoring your fakeness out to the other poor souls and sucking the spirit and life from them til hopefully one day they wake up and, hopefully, smell the rat for which your are. I for one wouldn’t have my experience any other way (I must be healing to say that.. I never thought during the darkest times I’d ever thank him for a thing). One day he’ll be my blip in the distant past that made my life better for addressing my childhood. You played a huge part in my (almost) recovery Savannah! Thank you x
I love to read spiritual books and books about relationships. You combine both topics in such a great and easy to understand way. I have often read about how our thoughts and energy levels shape our reality. You put it in such down to earth words that now I get the feeling that I really `got it`this time.
Thank you a lot!
And how would you explain a happy child getting a devastating illness? Or a family who are positive, loving people lose jobs during the Great Recession still fighting to survive financially? Sorry, I don’t buy into your theory. Bad things happen to good, positive, happy people. And good things happen to miserable, selfish uncaring people. Your black-and-white reality I find very lacking.
Tricia there are reasons for things that happen that we can’t begin to understand. I certainly wouldn’t call my thinking black and white – my point here is that if you can help yourself by thinking and feeling positively and you can harm yourself by thinking and feeling negatively – why wouldn’t you think positively? You honestly don’t think that people who walk around full of anxiety don’t actually cause themselves physical harm by their thoughts? I’m not interested in trying to convert anyone to my way of thinking – all I can tell you is I’ve seen it work both ways in my life and the lives of others. Believe what you will.
I’d like to clarify my previous comment. I do agree overall that its so much better to be a living vessel of positive energy; the rewards are many. Since my 20’s, I’ve always looked for the positive in everything and everyone, and it has brought me much peace, enlightenment and happiness. But at the same time, I’ve seen bad things happen to good people. In fact, there’s a best seller of the same name. I remember an acquaintance of mine a number of years ago told me that she believed that the only people who don’t get well are people who don’t know how to pray to God correctly. I had just lost a 38-year-old friend at the time to Leukemia. This friend was a lovely, spiritual person who had a close personal relationship with God. But, according to the acquaintance’s belief system, if my friend would have prayed “correctly,” she wouldn’t have died. How flawed is this? In my opinion, very. All I’m saying is, if we see something negative happen to someone else, not to assume that person brought it upon him or herself.
This article is fantastic!! I believe our thoughts and energy we radiate are MUCH more powerful than most people believe. I especially love the Wayne Dyer quote.
What an excellent example of the difference of “what you put out into the universe comes back to you”. I’ve sensed both positive and negative periods in life without understanding it was all within me.
Thank you for a year of positive and helpful articles! You’ve helped me back to a very positive space! You are a gift in my life;)
Best wishes and continued happiness to you Savannah. Please send my positive thoughts to your office mate.
Great article! I can’t help but wonder how your co worker might feel if she were to read this though?
Victoria I can tell you she would probably feel angry and frustrated, which is how she feels about everything. Everything I have said here is what I have said to her personally and I have no doubt she will never read this because she is not the type of person that takes advice or looks for answers – especially not from me.