Believes he is “special” and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
Many victims of Narcissistic abuse have spent sleepless nights agonizing over their Narcissist’s behavior. They get tripped up on trying to decipher intent and motive. The problem with that is, very often, a Narcissist’s behavior isn’t logical. It defies the laws of common sense and decency and for a non-Narcissist it’s very difficult to figure out.
The self-centered behavior will manifest itself in dismissive words or deeds. If you try to show a Narcissist how their behavior has been unkind or unfair you may get a hand gesture, a look or they may just change the topic and ignore your concerns all together.
You may also see it in humiliating and belittling behaviors. As well, a common theme is for a Narcissist to refuse to patronize certain companies or institutions he or she deems beneath them. Belittling allows a Narcissist to gain supply through the pain and suffering of others. Putting people down makes them feel big.
Spending time with high status people confirms their beliefs about themselves and allows them to glean supply through proxy.
A belief that you are special and unique and deserve special treatment is a common behavior for most Narcissists. It looks something like this:
- I am more important than you and because of this, my behavior gets a free pass. You are beneath me. Therefore, you are not deserving of the same special treatment.
- In relationships – I’m above you. My needs matter. You’re my play-thing, here for my enjoyment alone. Your thoughts, needs and feelings are not relevant or necessary for my pleasure. You’re lucky just to even be with me.
- I get bored easy with the mundane. You are tedious and ordinary. So, I am entitled to do what I want, with whomever I want. You’re lucky to even be with me.
- Rules don’t apply to me. I am above them. Rules apply to you – you are average.
- I am not accountable for my actions. Special people are not to blame for anything. Why should I take the blame or punishment, when I can just blame one of the ordinary people?
- I can use, lie, cheat, steal, connive, conspire and manipulate in pursuit of my goals. I do not have the capacity for traits such as honesty, honor, integrity, commitment and compassion. They hold no meaning for me.
This behavior takes on an arrogant bent and those around them are often stunned at the way they treat others. Whether they are rich or poor, intelligent or banal, a Narcissist lacks insight into their reality and how others see them.
A loyal flying monkey might even laugh and be amused at how deplorable their actions are and this can spur the Narcissist on to even greater egocentric behavior.
For those suffering from codependency and low self-esteem, having their feelings and needs readily dismissed is a lifelong theme. They can be overly tolerant of poor behavior and their acceptance fuels the Narcissists entitlement.
Codependents tend to put their partners on a pedestal, jumping to fulfill their every need and desire. Narcissists surround themselves with worshippers and dismiss any who don’t dance to their tune.
Below is a video of Scott Disick from Keeping Up with the Kardashians. At the end of the short clip you will see him stuffing money in a waiter’s mouth. In the episode he is heard calling the waiter a peasant.
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