When we get rejected, treated poorly, or someone blows hot and cold in a relationship with us, we often become stuck and fixated on that person. We become convinced that we’re in love and we try over and over again to prove ourselves, to show the objects of our affection, that we are worthy of their love and attention.

We often don’t recognize that the reason someone isn’t interested in us may have absolutely nothing to do with us at all. We tend to internalize the rejection that it must be because we’ve been seen, evaluated and judged, as not good enough and that they are no longer interested.

In the early stages of a relationship with a Narcissist, he seems like the answer to a prayer. He is everything that we ever wanted in a man. He showers you with attention and seems to put you on a pedestal. He is the proverbial white knight, swooping in to save us. Faced with the charm and persistent adoration of such a man, it’s easy to find yourself in the glow of budding love. He appeals to your heart and comes off as a great guy, who is just in need of a good woman, who will love and understand him.

Many would have trouble resisting such temptation, but the difference between a woman who has a healthy self-esteem, firm boundaries and self-respect and a woman who doesn’t, is that when the narcissist shows you who he really is,(blows hot and cold, future fakes, his words never match his actions, the relationship is all on his terms …) the woman with healthy self-esteem puts foot to pavement and doesn’t look back.