Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations. DSM 4 Narcissistic Personality Disorder Criteria
To have a sense of entitlement means to have an expectation. An expectation that I deserve something for nothing because of who or what I am.
For a Narcissist it means that they have the right to do, say and behave in a manner that is always self-serving. This sense of entitlement means that they can lie, cheat, steal, con or manipulate anyone they choose on a whim. They are more important, more special, more unique than others and their needs are more dyer, more urgent and more relevant.
Everyone knows the old adage, “Confidence is sexy.” It’s true. Confidence comes from a place deep within. It shows itself in the way that a person carries themselves and conducts themselves. It’s the result of knowing who you are, your worth, your abilities and being comfortable with all of it.
False confidence can be very hard to differentiate from real confidence. False confidence has all the hallmarks of real confidence, but the distinction comes in the place where it comes from and how it manifests itself.
Narcissists have a false sense of confidence. They act like they are entitled to do, say and think whatever they want, like they are certain of their importance, but deep down there is a knowing within, that it is all a sham. They know that there is no substance behind the bravado. This is part of why they will never let anyone get close enough to see the real person behind the mask.
This supports one of the main competing theories in Narcissism causality, which is that Narcissism is created by being raised by a Narcissistic parent and an over-compensating parent, who freely administers inappropriate praise. The contrasting parental styles of abuse and praise, it’s believed, creates a type of confusion for the Narcissist’s developing brain.
We do know that Narcissist’s are experts at creating a persona, a smoke and mirrors show where they project a false image of who they want you to think they are. They spend most of their relationship trying to hide their real self, creating a house of cards, made from one lie upon the next.
When confronted with their deception this sense of entitlement allows them to pass the responsibility off onto others. Consequences are not for them. Their feelings, needs and desires must be gratified and they make no apology for this. This is why it’s so easy for them to sacrifice others. It’s your pain for their pleasure, your destroyed credit for their gain, your tears for their release.
Unfortunately, for those selected targets, the Narcissist’s false confidence is hard to distinguish from the real thing. When a Narcissist finds those that are easily influenced, easily lead or willing to do anything for love, it becomes a very alluring intoxicant and these targets will often find themselves involved with people and situations that they wouldn’t normally associate with and willing to do or give whatever they can to assist the Narcissist’s cause.
A normal life is boring for a Narcissist and they believe that it is meant for the ordinary. They will do whatever they can to escape it. The hum-drum of 9 to 5 effects them in a way that allows them to target and feed off of those with resources or to defraud or scam to escape that fate, because they deserve better.
The lengths they will go to for deception makes you wonder how much they could accomplish if they used their time and energy to create a good, honest life. That notion seems to be such a foreign concept for them, that it simply does not register. Instead they will create lie upon lie, false image upon false image, all in order to con and manipulate their way through people, jobs, and life. Because they hide their fears and anxiety behind a false confidence, it gives others the perception that they are truly arrogant and entitled.
The reality is that their destructive and painful inner conflict is so overwhelming for them that they move people around, use them, manipulate them to alleviate their painful emotions. Their need to be rid of these feelings gives them the right, in their minds, to do what they do.
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