In Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone’s ground breaking book, Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude, the authors depict a story of a minister, who was home alone with his young son. It was stormy outside and his son was restless. He was in his study trying to write his sermon for the next day, but was repeatedly interrupted by the young lad. He got up and tore a picture of a globe out of a magazine and ripped it into several little pieces.
“If you can put the world back together again, I’ll give you a quarter,” he said, thinking this would occupy the boy for some time.
A few minutes later the boy came back in his office, “I’m finished,” he declared.
The minister got up and walked over to where he had thrown the pieces and sure enough, his son had put it all back together again. “How on earth did you do it so quickly?” He asked.
“Well,” the boy started sheepishly, “There was a picture of a man on the other side. I put a piece of paper underneath and I knew if I got the man right I’d get the world right.”
The minister laughed, handed him the quarter and said, “You’ve just given me the topic of my next sermon, When a man is right – his world is right.”
Self-care not only feels good, it’s essential for your well-being. When one gets into the habit of taking care of themselves things start to fall into place. Recently, I’ve been hitting the gym hard. Though I am convinced that my personal trainer is trying to kill me, I can’t deny that I feel amazing afterward. I feel good when I’m eating healthy. I feel good when I’m out in nature. I feel good when I spend time with loved ones. I feel good when I am being kind. I feel good when I’m doing things that bring me joy. I feel good when I am taking care of me.
On the weekend I got together with some neighbors for a BBQ. One of the ladies started complaining about her life. She is a single parent, with two jobs and some health issues. She said she always feels like she’s running from one place to another with no time for herself. Several of us offered up suggestions, but she dismissed them all and continued to complain. There’s no doubt she’s busy and when you’re so busy that you don’t have time for yourself you’re miserable. In this state she was blocking out and not in tuned to a way out of her circumstances.
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it isn’t something you should get to eventually, or something that should take a back seat to other obstacles. It should be a top priority and on everyone’s agenda, every day. Your self-care is your responsibility and if you want to feel good every day, you need to make time for it.
My definition of self-care means being a fully autonomous being, who takes care of themselves physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually. One who’s well-being is a top priority.
Here’s what self-care and feeling good does for you:
It Releases Endorphins: When you work out, your body releases endorphins that interact with the receptors in your brain. They trigger a positive feeling in the body. As I write this I don’t mind telling you I’m buzzing with happiness. I’m kind of annoying myself with how happy I’ve been feeling. The only thing that changed is now I’m working out every day, I’m eating super healthy, I’m getting out in nature (I just bought a new bike). When you feel good you can’t help but be kindness. Today I paid it forward at the coffee shop, I held the door open and smiled at everyone that came into my space and radiated good energy.
In a study done by Christine Carter, at Berkley, participants reported that they felt stronger and more energetic when helping and being kind to others. They also reported feeling calmer with increased feelings of self-worth. Researchers also found similar results when participants witnessed acts of kindness, so feeling good makes you want to be kind and being kind or witnessing kindness makes you feel good. That’s the cycle of kindness – keep it going.
When You’re Feeling Positive You’re in Line with Your Goals: You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are, so you want to make sure that you’re feeling good, because who doesn’t want more of feeling good? As most of my clients will attest I constantly tell them if you’re in a low emotional energy vibration, you attract low emotional energy people and low emotional energy circumstances.
“Every time you praise something, every time you appreciate something, every time you feel good about something you are telling the universe, “More of this please.” – Esther Hicks
Being Stable and On Top of Everything Makes You Feel Stable and More In Control and Being In Control Makes You Feel Good: I feel strong and empowered when I take care of myself. Nothing can throw me off balance, because I control my own life – the people in it, the energy I allow into my front row, how I react, what I do, how I feel… I don’t throw my rope to other people and hope that some day they might save me. I save myself and better yet, I don’t find myself in situations that I need saving from. I don’t engage with crazy. I walk away from everything that doesn’t make me feel good. I’m fully in control of my own life and that feels damn fantastic.
“I had to do a clearing of people who were not supportive of who I wanted to be in the world. And I recognized that there are people who are not going to take responsibility for their energy, so I now have to take responsibility for the energy that I allow to be brought into my space. What I know is that you cannot continue to move forward in your life to the level that you need to be if you’re surrounded by energy that brings you down, that sucks the life force from you. So not only are you responsible for the energy you bring, you’re also responsible for the energy you surround yourself with.” – Oprah Winfrey
Meditation Feels Good: I often find myself looking forward to the moment when I get to meditate. When I meditate I feel amazing. I can manufacture the feeling of joy. I can manufacture the feeling of health, love, abundance and during my meditation I visualize my goals. I see and feel the end result. I put myself there – feeling good the whole time. I don’t understand why people don’t meditate every day. It relieves stress, anxiety and worry. It replaces it with calm, joy, optimism and a vibrant energy.
When I’m good to myself it says to my subconscious, “I value you.” What is codependency? It’s a dysfunctional relationship with the self, covered in shame, doubt, fear, inadequacy… when I value myself, by practicing self-care, I change that dynamic. I interrupt that tape that wants to tell me I’m not enough and replaces it with the message – I’m more than enough. I’m friggin’ fantastic. Thanks for asking!!!