“There is a profound stillness at rock bottom. It’s very quiet and there is no one around to distract you. It’s a place where you are completely alone with nothing but your thoughts for companionship.”
From the outside, my life looked pretty good. I was in my late 20’s, engaged to a gorgeous, intelligent man. We had just bought our own home. We had a cottage, a boat, 2 cars and both of us had good paying jobs. But all was not as it seemed.
Inside the home, I lived with a toxic man, who was always miserable. Day by day he sucked the life out of me, until there was almost no me left. I went to bed every night having panic attacks about my job, which I hated. I was barely existing and every day I died a little bit more.
I had things, but things do not make happiness. Things are just things and they can be taken away in an instant. I had a relationship, with a man, but I did not have love, kindness or respect.
I was conditioned, as a child, to adapt to toxic environments. I was very good at adapting, so good in fact, that in my relationship, I had every reason to leave, but never any intention to do so.
I had become dependent to the point where the very thought of being alone, without someone to take care of me, without a safety net, had me hyperventilating.
And then it happened…..
In an instant everything was gone – I had nothing and no one and I was paralyzed with fear.
I didn’t see it then, but what had happened to me, I’m convinced, was divine intervention. I was existing in a loveless relationship, in an unfulfilling job, living an inauthentic life, which I was never willingly going to leave and so the Universe did what a loving Universe does – it shoved me out of my uncomfortable comfort zone and it put me through a divine detox.
Welcome to Rock Bottom
I know a lot of people that live very charmed lives, where nothing ever seems to go wrong for them. There was a time when I envied those people. I don’t anymore. They never get to experience the storms of life, never had to face their fears. These storms make us better. They’re our chance for a do over. It’s our reset button, where everything is stripped from us and we are completely gutted.
“The beauty of rock bottom is that it’s a place of reflection, of where you can actually hear what your spirit has been trying to tell you, but you were too preoccupied with your life to listen. There is nowhere to go at rock bottom but up and it’s here where you create the path out. It’s here, when we get to map out the plan for the life we should have been living all along. It’s here, where we get to start again.”
Rock bottom is a magical place and if you’re lucky, you’ll have a chance to visit. Don’t get me wrong, it’s terrifying, but the most incredible things happen and you won’t be the same person going out that you were going in.
Here’s a list of what happens at Rock Bottom:
- You are forced to face everything that frightens you about yourself and your life and you get to figure out how to overcome it.
- You are forced to look inward and to discover who you are. When you have lived your whole life for other people and then suddenly find yourself with no one else to focus on, you learn for the first time how to be your own friend, what you like, what you want and what you need.
- You find your true self. Where you finally stop and reconnect to your spirit and start becoming your authentic self
- You stop living under someone else’s thumb and what it’s like to be in charge of your own life.
- You find your power and that which is indestructible in you. It’s where you stop being an ordinary person and become the warrior.
- You get to reprogram your mind and learn all that you should have been taught as a child.
- You learn how to depend on yourself, because there is no one else to take care of you and you get a taste of how sweet autonomy is.
- You learn how to deal with your emotions and your grief.
- You heal the wounded child.
- You learn how to create and maintain your own stability
- You start to look ahead and plan your future and goals.
- You choose who you let into your inner circle.
- You start again.
Rock Bottom is the ending and the beginning of the old life and the new. At Rock Bottom all of the choices are yours. It’s your opportunity to start over and to get it right. Resist the urge to give up on life, or to lose faith. It’s easy to do, I know. Rock Bottom is not for the faint of heart. If you get to go there it’s because you are strong enough to bear it and because the Universe has better things in store for you.
See what has happened from the proper perspective – that this was a divine cleanse, meant to make you healthier, meant to clear out all the baggage and cobwebs that cluttered your mind and put you on the right path. Afterward you will notice that you have new eyes to see with, a new appreciation for what really matters and you will have found you – the greatest gift of all.