What to do if you suspect someone you know is involved with a narcissist:

First of all let’s cover the Don’ts:

* Do not underestimate how dangerous, manipulative and conniving a narcissist can be.

Too many times people confuse narcissism with ordinary abusive behaviour or someone with an inflated ego. A true narcissist is cruel beyond comprehension and can cause immeasurable emotional and physical damage. They will stop at nothing to control their victim and that could include death.

Love Bomb: A psychological technique used by emotional manipulators to exert control over their love interests, by administering intense praise, attention and admiration. Once their target’s emotions have been engaged, the Love Bomber abruptly stops his/her pursuit and becomes distant, cold and may even stop contact all together. This causes the target to have severe feelings of confusion and pain. The abrupt rejection will trigger unresolved childhood traumas in the target and will cause them to engage in obsessive thinking and addiction-type behaviors, all centered around trying to win back their abuser’s affections. 

Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes. – DSM IV, NPD Criteria

if you’ve ever seen a somatic Narcissist walk past a mirror and glance admiringly at their reflection or bore witness to a cerebral Narcissist engaging in a witty adversarial debate and come out the winner, you’ve seen the arrogant bent of their personalities emerge.

Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her – DSM 4

When Jealousy speaks, it says, “I want what you have.” When envy speaks it says, “I don’t want you to have it.”  For a Narcissist both aspects of greed come in to play. Envy is that spark of evil inside the narcissist, that is responsible for that insatiable longing that is never satisfied.

Empathy is the ability to comprehend the feelings of another; to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. For a Narcissist this ability is impaired. What this means is that entering into a relationship with someone who lacks empathy is setting yourself up for feelings of pain, hurt, grief, confusion, betrayal and shock.

Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends. – DSM4

When a parasite attaches itself to a host it doesn’t concern itself with whether or not the host wants to be fed upon. It doesn’t care about the host’s well-being. All it cares about is, where it can get the resources it needs to survive.

Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.  DSM 4 Narcissistic Personality Disorder Criteria

To have a sense of entitlement means to have an expectation. An expectation that I deserve something for nothing because of who or what I am.