Do you think that love is easy, or do you think love is hard, maybe even impossible?
Many of us struggle with love, mainly because we were never taught how. Some of us learned that love has conditions – you do X, Y and Z for me and I’ll give you some scraps of my attention or affection, which sets us up for serious problems down the road in our romantic relationships. Other’s were taught that love is pain and as adults, we go seeking pain and calling it love. While others still, were taught that they weren’t good enough or worthy of love and they’ll always find partners who will make them feel that way.
My heartache was tangible and the air was thick with loneliness, as the sound of laughter flooded in through my bedroom window. I was trying to cope with my new life alone, no spouse, no parents, no family and no friends, when my new neighbor’s merriment permeated the silence.
Limited Contact: A state of partial interaction, that one partakes in for certain occasions, with abusive or toxic family members, whereby one is able to remain in contact and on their own terms with those that they would otherwise have no contact with.
When I met my long-term Narcissist I was in my mid to late 20’s and after receiving my University degree I landed a job with the Government. My Narcissist, a high-school drop-out, was working in retail and didn’t have any aspirations for better.
Ten years ago, I tried to get back into the dating pool after being unceremoniously kicked to the curb by my Narcissist. I was new to dating, having been in my abusive relationship for almost a decade and I realized very quickly that I had a lot to learn.
After my breakup with my long-term Narcissist I went through a phase of reaching out to people I hadn’t spoken to in a long time and I would try to make new friends everywhere I went. I was lonely and I was trying to put my life back together again with healthy activities and good friends to spend time with.
Savannah Greyis a Hypnotherapist, Divorce Coach, Consultant, Freelance Writer, Self-Love Advocate, Sports Fanatic, and Philosopher. She has a degree in Psychology and is the founder of www.esteemology.com, a website dedicated to educating and healing survivors of abusive relationships.