Posts

Manifesting the Life You Want Through Self-Hypnosis

“Then you must make your future dream a present fact. You do this by assuming the feeling of your wish…

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How Assertive Are You?: Assertiveness Training for Codependents

I can recall, early in my dating career, many occasions where I really let myself down. There were plenty of…

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Are You a Caregiver or a Caretaker?

Kristie and Steve had been seeing each other on and off for almost 4 years. It has really been more…

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Battling Dependency and Reconnecting to You: Part 2

Last week we talked about the ways in which a Narcissist creates dependency. This week I wanted to finish off…

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How Narcissists Create Dependency: Part 1

Denial is a big part of Codependency – denial that anything is wrong, denial of your feelings, denial about your childhood,…

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Tackling Fear and Finding the Courage to Leap

“Courage is resistance to fear, not absence of fear.”  -Mark Twain  Fear, it can be debilitating. It can keep us…

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Knowing Who You Are: The Biggest Gift of All

Last weekend was my ex-Narcissist’s birthday and I’m the one that ended up with the present. Let me preface this…

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The Silent Treatment: A Narcissist’s Tool For Psychological Warfare

Ghosting, the silent treatment, the disappearing act, radio silence – no matter what you call it, when your partner makes…

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Developing Self-Esteem

For those of us who know we don’t have it, self-esteem is that ever elusive mystery quality that would magically…

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Why A Narcissist Stays With Their New Partner

None is this is fair. You didn’t deserve the way you were treated, or the way you were discarded and…

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Breaking Down the Codependent Coping Mechanism

What is wrong with my thinking? How did I get this way? How should I be reacting? These are among…

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7 Things Codependents Should Never Do In Relationships

Codependency is a disease of the self. It’s our own misinterpretation of who we really are and of our significance…

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Your Environment is a Mirror of Your Self-Esteem

I’m always on the lookout for something that inspires me and moves me into deep thought or action. A lot…

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The Importance of Positivity

Growing up I learned to see the world through a very critical lens. I came by it honestly. It was…

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Stop Making Everything Your Fault: Interrupting Your Tape

When you have one half of a couple, that takes responsibility for nothing and liberally distributes blame to the other…

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Cultivating Self-Respect

For a codependent in a relationship, there comes that inevitable moment where you realize that you have done too much,…

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Why You Should Have a Mentor

“If I have seen further, it is because I stand on the shoulders of giants.” – Isaac Newton A mentor…

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2017 The Year of You

For those of you who follow Numerology, 2016 was the last year on the current cycle. It was a 9…

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Surviving the Dysfunctional Christmas: Savannah’s Holiday Survival Tips

Christmas day, in my family, consists of the three siblings (me and two of my brothers), a few family friends and…

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Why Narcissists Ruin the Holidays

T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house, Not a narcissist was stirring, not even a text. The…

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Boundaries for Codependents

Abusers don’t like boundaries. They hinder their progress in getting what they want. Consequently, they choose their targets very carefully….

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Is it Loneliness or Dependence?: Battling Through the Hurt

“Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that are…

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Your Well-Being Is Your Responsibility

Back in the early days of my journey, every day was painful to get through. I was in a constant…

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Beware That Call In The Middle Of The Night

It was the wee hours of the night, a lot of laughs and several bottles of Chardonnay later, I found…

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Stop Trying So Hard and Learning When to Let Go

When you’re used to having to work for love you tend to be someone who doesn’t give up too easily….

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Stop Trying to Figure Them Out: Narcissists Don’t Think Like You Do

Codependency has been described as a dysfunctional relationship with the self. What that means is that the view that we…

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Getting Comfortable in Your Own Skin

“The essence of beauty doesn’t stem from the label on your clothes, the shape of your body, or the color…

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Learning How to Love Only Those That Love You

I had made of list of all the things I wanted in a man. It was great advice given to…

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Keeping Your Dignity in the Face of Injustice

Unless you live under a rock, you’ve probably heard that Angelina Jolie filed for divorce from Brad Pitt last week….

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Stop Being Other Person Focused and Let Go of the Need to Be Chosen

Losing one’s self in a relationship means willfully shedding your own identity, desires and personal goals and instead becoming consumed…

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The Subconscious Mind and Changing Your Core Beliefs

“A belief is just a thought we keep thinking.” – Esther Hicks Have you ever gotten into your car and…

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Overcoming Feelings of Helplessness: You’re More Powerful Than You Think

My relationship with my long-term Narcissist was awful. I felt like I had the weight of the world on my…

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Codependency and Dealing with Crazy People

Wayne Dyer accurately quipped that, “Some people are always looking for a reason to be offended,” and most of us don’t have…

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Looking for Love Where It Doesn’t Exist: Stop Giving Away Your Power

Sometimes when I hear someone tell their story I can’t help but cringe and think in my head, “Oh boy, this…

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Savannah’s 13 Steps to Change and Leaving Abusive Relationships

Why can’t I get over this? Why do I get sucked in every time? Why do I feel so powerless?…

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Finding Your Self-Worth

When we’re children our quest begins to look for clues and examples of how we fit into our environment and…

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Codependency and Allowing People to Experience Their Own Consequences

“My biggest pet peeve?” She was asked. “It’s people who create their own problems and then complain about the outcome,…

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Starving For Love: How Our Attachment Style Affects Our Relationships

When we talk about starving we’re usually referring to food. Imagine if you will, that you are stranded on a…

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The Effects of the Narcissist’s Disappearing Act: Operant Conditioning and Learned Helplessness

What would you do if your 11 year old daughter didn’t come home for a couple of weeks? What if…

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He Loves Me, She Loves Me Not: Interpreting Dysfunctional Relationship Behavior

There is conflicting science on whether or not happy memories are easier to recall than sad ones. Ask anyone who’s…

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Identifying and Conquering Codependent Behaviors

A big part of how I help others tackle their codependency is by identifying the behaviors that lead to self-sabotage…

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Lessons Learned From a Tennis Tournament

“Every time I step onto the court there’s a new challenge. Each opponent is different and represents a different challenge….

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Doubt, Codependency and the Law of Attraction

Doubt is like the rude uninvited guest that keeps showing up to your party. It’s the rain on your parade….

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Learning New Ways to Cope: Taming the Wounded Child

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt so emotionally vulnerable that anything that triggered one of your…

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Beating the Martyr Syndrome: Putting Yourself First

To put yourself first, to actually consider your needs above all else is inconceivable to a lot of people. Take…

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The Importance of Strategy: When Codependents Leave Their Reactions To Chance

To have a strategy is to have a plan. A map that clearly indicates how one gets from point A…

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Kicking Codependency To The Curb: Going Against the Grain – To Fix Or Not To Fix

We know that codependents develop the tendency to put others ahead of themselves. When they are faced with the prospect…

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Letting Go Of The Need To Be Perfect

For a big part of my life, I hung out on the sidelines, waiting and hoping for that one moment…

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Narcissists and the User Mentality: Investing in a Manipulator

It is the nature of the Narcissistic beast to gain at the expense of others. They are generally attracted to…

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The Missing Pieces of the Narcissist

For months I had been trying to get my long-term Narcissist to come back to me. After almost 10 years…

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When We Think We’re So Over Them That We Can Have a Relationship On Our Terms

I got home really late on Friday. When I pulled into my driveway, at about 1:00am, I noticed a familiar vehicle…

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The Importance of Keeping Your Word and Communicating Your Needs

“Be impeccable with your word,” it’s one of Miguel Ruiz’s principles to creating a happy and balanced life, which he…

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Self-Sabotage and Codependency

A lot of people want to change. They want their lives to get better. They want to leave their bad…

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What Do Codependents Look Like Really?

I went out to dinner with my neighbor recently and the topic of conversation always seems to gravitate to Narcissism and Codependency….

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The Real Self, The Ideal Self and the Codependent Self

I used to hold an image of a woman in my mind. She was me, but not me. She was…

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When You’re More Concerned with How Your Date Feels About You

So there I was sitting in my therapist’s office. It was more than a handful of years ago, therapy was…

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Why It’s Not a Good Idea to Date Immediately After You Break Up With Your Narcissist Ex

It seemed like a good idea. You’ve been pining over someone who has, in the blink of an eye, replaced…

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The Truth About Fixers, Empaths and Over-Givers

When people talk about those that help, or put others needs ahead of their own, they use words like nurturer,…

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No, He’s Not Happier with Her: Do You Want Scientific Proof?

One of the greatest fears victims of Narcissistic abuse have is the fear that their Narcissist will trot off into…

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Narcissists and Betrayal

  Betray: verb To deliver or expose to an enemy by treachery or disloyalty. To be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining,…

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The Truth About Adversity: The Will To Succeed

I love sports. I love them because they are the epitome of human endurance. They exemplify mental toughness and the…

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The Year in Review: 9 Lessons We Learned This Year

It’s that time of year when I like to look back, on the year that was, and reflect on some…

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The Great Christmas Justification and Other Holiday Nonsense

So there I was many, many moons ago, out Christmas shopping, for the love in my life. I was in…

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The Importance of Maintaining High Emotional Energy

I get downright giddy when I see something that I strongly believe in manifest in real life. I never want…

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The Importance of Releasing Your Grief Energy

In the initial stages of a break up, it’s incredibly difficult to focus on anything but the pain.  So early…

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Being Emotionally Honest Can Mean Standing Alone

A couple weeks back I had dinner with one of my cousins. She recently became aware of my blog and…

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You Don’t Need To Catch Someone in the Act, Permission, Indisputable Proof, or a Private Investigator to Break Up With Someone

“I never would have left.” That’s what I said to my long-term Narcissist, during one of my futile attempts to…

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Spotting Codependency at Work in Our Lives

I went to the grocery store last week and as I was loading my food onto the conveyor belt, at…

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Healing the Inner Child

Inside every codependent is a child, who has been mistreated, ignored, hurt, humiliated, frightened, shamed, or abused by parents, who…

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The Many Faces of Denial: It’s Not Just a River In Narcissistville

For much of my life I lived in a state of denial. Much of it was created by the Narcissists…

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Working With Your Ex-Narcissist

You can’t help but notice how charming the guy, 5 cubicles down from you, happens to be. He’s been flirting…

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Do You Need to Talk? Skype With Savannah

Hey Gang!!! Savannah here, many months ago I got an urgent email from a reader, who desperately needed to talk…

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How One Woman Broke Her Narcissist Addiction

Tina was really mad at herself. She let Mark sweet talk his way back into her heart and now he…

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How I Stopped Hating Myself

I remember thinking that there was a secret that everyone else knew except me. I thought once I figured out…

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The Power of Indifference

Earlier this week I received a copy of the magazine that an article of mine appeared in. As I was…

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The Practice of Self-Care

For many, practicing self-care is a life style change. It means giving up self-destructive habits. It’s a shift in perspective…

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Letting Go When It’s the Last Thing You Want to Do: Part 2

Sometimes our hearts haven’t quite caught up to our heads and when you throw a little physiology into the mix,…

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Letting Go When It’s the Last Thing You Want to Do: Part 1

It defies reason, logic and common sense, to want to hang on to someone, who treated you so appallingly. It’s almost…

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The Relationship You Have with Yourself: The Most Important Relationship of All

Imagine that you were in a relationship with someone you didn’t love. Imagine that you found this person to be…

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Making Molehills Out of Mountains: Minimizing Bad Behavior

We’ve all heard the phrase, you’re making mountains out of molehills, which of course means, you’re making something out to…

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Narcissists, No Contact and the Spaghetti Technique

You’ve done all the right things. You’ve broken up with your Narcissist, you’ve gone no contact and you’ve done your…

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The 7 Habits of People Who Succeed at Life

“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of…

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Why Can’t I Get Over This?: The Never Ending Relationship

We’ve all experienced a break up or two at some point in our lives. They’re usually unpleasant, but eventually we…

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How The Universe Tells You It’s Time For Change

“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.” – Eckhart Tolle The body…

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Loyalty, Obligation and Making Your Own Rules

“Well, he wasn’t happy,” our mutual friend said with a shrug, like it made perfect sense. In my head I…

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The Day I Knew It Was Time To Say Goodbye To My Best Friend

I loved my best friend. I still do. I hope that she is happy and thriving in her life. I’m…

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We All Want Something Beautiful: Trying to Gain Self-Esteem by Proxy

There is a beauty bias in our culture. People, who possess beauty, get more advantages and more opportunities than the…

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5 Key Life Lessons I’ve Learned Along the Way

I felt stuck and uncomfortable for much of my life and as much as I tried, I couldn’t figure out a…

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But He Has So Many Good Qualities

There were two things that kept me stuck in the relationship with my boomerang Narcissist. One was the feelings it evoked…

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Cultivating the Will to Change: The Key to Motivation

Motivation, drive, desire, passion, whatever you want to call it, people have been trying to figure out how to get…

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Anxiety Kings: A Narcissist’s Inner Battle

Anxiety is a debilitating disease. It’s those oppressive thoughts and feelings that become so overwhelming that you can barely function,…

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Are You Afraid of Intimacy?

“When we protect ourselves so we won’t feel pain, that protection becomes like armor that imprisons the softness of the…

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Savannah’s Frequently Asked Questions

I get a lot of emails asking a lot of the same types of questions and so this week I…

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Letting Go of the Need to Please

We all want to be liked, it’s part of the human condition, but that need can become excessive and unhealthy…

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But We’re Just Friends: A License To Disrespect

Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people. Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond…

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Inside the Mind of a Narcissist: What’s Really Go On

“When it comes to relationships I just have two different people inside fighting for supremacy.”  – Narcissist One of the most…

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Understanding the Cheating Narcissist: Breakdown, Breakthrough and Breaking Free

If you don’t initially wish your cheating Narcissist ill will after they’ve left you for another, you are probably among…

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Are You Overly Critical?: Changing Your Childhood Schemas

“When your eye is always searching for the negative you can’t help but miss much of life’s beauty.” – S. Grey My…

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Healthy is as Healthy Does: The Behaviors of Emotionally Healthy People

What is normal? What does healthy look like? We talk a lot about being healthy on this site, but If…

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Your Relationship Behavior: A Barometer of Your Self-Esteem

We’ve all had cringe-worthy moments that we can shelve in the ‘not my finest hour’ section of our memory banks. …

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The Most Important Lesson I Ever Forgot

 “You create your own universe as you go along.” – Winston Churchill Tanya and her siblings were taken from their…

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Tools of the Trade: A Narcissists Guide to Crazy Making

A Narcissist’s greatest advantage is that their behavior is often contradictory, inconsistent and inexplicable to those closest to them. People…

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Self-Compassion: A Pillar to Healthy Living

“For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we…

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The Dance of the Manipulator and Fifty Shades of Savannah Grey

“And pity – people who inspire it in you are actually very powerful people. To get someone else to take…

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Affirmations: The Key to Changing Your Self-Talk

“I’m good enough. I’m smart enough and doggone it people like me.” – Stuart Smalley When someone mentions affirmations, the…

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Burning Your Bridges: Taking the Ability to Retreat out of Your Hands

“I can’t do it. I just can’t walk away.” “I’m not strong enough. I’m so weak.” “As soon as he…

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Ghosts of Valentine’s Day Past

The very first Valentine’s Day I spent with my Long-Term Narcissist, many, many years ago, started with him going off…

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When Your Need To Be Loved Supersedes Good Judgment: Becoming a Self-Love Warrior

We all have an innate need to love and be loved, to belong to something, a family, a circle of…

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The Obesity/Self-Esteem Dynamic

The obesity/self-esteem dynamic is a topic that doesn’t get enough attention.  Sure, there have been countless studies on how obesity affects…

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Do You Suffer From The Fixer Mentality?

Fixer: Someone who engages in relationships with dysfunctional partners, with an uncontrollable need to help, give, rescue, and recreate that…

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Getting Rid of Unwanted Thoughts and Feelings: The Emotional Freedom Technique or Tapping

I get a lot of emails from people that are suffering. They are going through so much emotional anguish and…

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The Importance of Looking Back Before We Look Forward in the New Year

The new year brings with it new challenges, new chapters and new beginnings. But before we look ahead I think…

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Narcissists and the Amazing Holiday Houdini Act

Gabriella had planned it all so perfectly. She had decorated her new condo beautifully for the holidays. All her presents were…

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Dealing with Your Narcissist and Other Toxic People over the Holidays

Most of us want to have the ‘typical’ family holiday. We want the tree, the presents, a delicious Christmas dinner…

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The Truth About Hypnosis and Savannah’s New Video

There are a lot of misconceptions about hypnosis. Many people believe that they are supposed to be completely unconscious and…

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Do You Engage in Fantasy Relationships?

Einstein said that, ‘imagination is more important than knowledge,’ and that’s true, except when it comes to our relationships. When…

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Are You Being Groomed For Abuse?

In 1977 Colleen Stan left her home in California, to attend the birthday party of one of her friends. She…

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Discipline The Key To No Contact

Willpower, determination, stick-to-itiveness, resolve, whatever you want to call it – discipline is the difference between success and giving in….

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The Objectificaiton of Women: From Exploitation to Oppression

Several weeks ago a picture of a Muslim woman, wearing a niqab, was floating around social media with the caption,…

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When You Keep Taking Them Back and the Narcissist’s Game

When your eyes first open in the morning, it’s usually because your alarm clock is making that awful aaaaaa-aaaaa-aaaaa noise….

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How To Be Happy When You’re Heartbroken

When I look back at young me, teenage me, 20 something me, I can’t help thinking, ‘man that little girl didn’t…

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Interview with a Narcissist – Part Deux: The Return of Max

When I first approached Max about doing another interview, he sounded pretty excited about it. I could tell this experience…

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So, You’re Codependent-Now What?: A Step by Step Strategy

The best blogs I have written have been ones where I’ve written straight from the heart. What I mean by…

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The Effects of Emotional Child Abuse in Adults

When I was 14 years old I met my first love. He was 18 and he was big, strong, smart…

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The Violent Narcissist: The Battle for Control

How well do you know your partner? Your best friend? Neighbor? Brother or sister-in-law? How well do we really know…

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Healthy Love vs Toxic Love: ‘The List’

Human beings are a lot less complicated than you might think . The great motivators for most people, are the desire for survival,…

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Understanding the Other Woman

“It does give you an extra bit of a thrill. It’s forbidden, so it feels a bit more naughty and…

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The Nine Signs Your Relationship is Over

We all want our relationships to workout. We’ve all grown up with the adages that relationships require work, compromise and…

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Standing On Your Own Two Feet and The Formula For Change

I went to my brother’s cottage this weekend and I got to spend some quality time with my nephews and…

16 comments

Narcissists, Online Dating and Serendipity

Imagine for a moment, that you were an emotional predator and that, in order for you to just feel normal,…

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Leaving Co-Dependency

Have you ever come across a definition or a list of symptoms, and by the time you got to the…

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Understanding the Parasitic Narcissist

Parasite: “An organism that grows, feeds, and is sheltered on, or in a different organism, while contributing nothing to the…

54 comments

Narc Busting and the Making of a Co-Dependent

I got invited to a local restaurant, to celebrate an ex-coworker’s birthday, last weekend.  I didn’t know anyone else there,…

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Forgiveness: Letting Go of Anger, Resentment and Bitterness

The whole concept of forgiveness sounds like a huge cliché doesn’t it? Somehow, by some stroke of magic, forgiving someone,…

32 comments

Learning to Trust Again Begins By Learning to Trust Yourself

“Are you sitting down?” “Yes,” I said. “What’s up?” “I logged into Pete’s Ipad and I found all these email…

16 comments

Fakebook: The Illusion of Social Media and Keeping Tabs on Your Ex

After my break-up many, many years ago, I accidently-on-purpose, came across the Facebook profile of my ex’s new woman. I…

34 comments

The Making of a Monster: Causes of NPD

Why don’t you love me? After everything I’ve done – how could you not love me? At some point, everyone…

32 comments

Becoming Visible, Picking up the Pieces & Finding You Again

I love the metamorphic dance of the butterfly. From slow, awkward, unattractive, caterpillar to elegant, graceful, beautiful, butterfly.  This dance…

26 comments

Dating after Narcissistic Abuse: Red Flags and Sav’s Dating Do’s and Don’ts

The post-date analysis was one of my favorite pastimes. It was a special time, when my girlfriends and I would…

28 comments

Confidence: A Pillar of Growth and Healthy Living

“With it, you can take on the world, without it, you live stuck at the starting block of your potential.” …

5 comments

The Pitfalls of Dating Post Narcissist

Dating is tough, even at the best of times, but when you’re trying to get back out there, after an…

16 comments

Are You Addicted to a Narcissist?: Why No Contact is the Only Way

Addiction:  a persistent, compulsive dependence on, or commitment to, a habit or practice, on a thing or substance, to the…

60 comments

Getting Rid of Limiting Beliefs: The Lefkoe Method

My cousin is the type of woman that always has a man, or it’s probably better to say, she’s the…

5 comments

Giving In the Name of Love

Alisa Valdes was living the dream. She did her undergrad at Berkley and received her Masters of Journalism at Columbia….

18 comments

Narcissism and Religion: A Perfect Match

“I would hate to have friends over, especially around dinner time. Before every meal my father would preach to us….

67 comments

The Quality of Our Lives is Determined by the Quality of Our Choices: Learning How to Make Healthy Relationship Choices

I read a quote from Anthony Robbins a couple of weeks ago and I haven’t been able to stop thinking…

25 comments

Falling in Love with Life: Being Present and Living in the Now

“If you struggle with being present in the now, you will struggle with life.” – Eckhart Tolle We all know…

16 comments

What Your Behavior Post Break-Up Really Means

We’ve all had break-up moments that we aren’t particularly proud of. You know, those scenes where we left the house,…

51 comments

Spotting a Narcissist: How to Get the Best Return on Your Emotional Investment

Dating is like investing in the stock market. We want to get the best possible return on our investment, so…

29 comments

I See Dead People…Uhhh I Mean Narcissists: Creating the Right Neural Pathways

After my long-term Narcissist and I broke up, I spent about a year and a half on self-improvement. I was…

11 comments

Growing Up Narcissist: The Narcissistic Parent and Child Abuse

Imagine growing up in an environment where rather than being loved and nurtured, you’re treated like an adversary and an…

28 comments

The Different Faces of Narcissism: Types and Sub-Types

There tends to be some confusion amongst readers on the basic template of a narcissist. I write a lot about…

76 comments

Finding the Courage to Walk Away

Your behavior, the days and weeks following a breakup with a Narcissist, sets the tone for the rest of your…

40 comments

Interview with a Narcissist

When I choose a blog topic I usually get my ideas from reader emails, research, books that I’ve read, or…

33 comments

Being Single is Not a Fatal Disease: Knowing Your Relationship Patterns

Not long ago, an acquaintance of mine ended a ten year relationship. The union was toxic and unhealthy and she…

9 comments

The You Revolution: Slaying the I’m Not Good Enough Monster

The late eighteenth century was ripe with Revolutions. There was an American Revolution and a French Revolution and even today,…

4 comments

Being Authentically You: The Truth About Not Being Good Enough

I hate myself.  I am flawed. I am unworthy. No one will ever love me and I will never be…

10 comments

Finding Purpose and Meaning in the Pain

I get a lot of emails every day and I read every single one of them. This week I received…

24 comments

Are You Mistaking Intensity for Intimacy?

In relationships, intensity can be defined as a measure or degree of emotional excitement. High intensity relationships are formed when…

20 comments

Understanding Trauma Bonds: Part 2

Exploitation usually begins with a promise. This promise can be explicitly expressed, or it can be simply implied. Patrick Carnes,…

11 comments

Why Do I Still Love Him?: Understanding Truama Bonds

In Stockholm Sweden, in 1973 a man entered a bank and took 4 bank employees hostage. He forced the employees…

21 comments

Empowerment: Taking Back Your Personal Power

Empowerment is a difficult concept to define. For me, empowerment means strength, courage, will, determination, confidence, autonomy and freedom, but…

10 comments

Give Yourself a Gift This Holiday Season: A Lesson in No Contact

The holidays are a great occasion to spend time with family, friends and loved ones, but they can also be…

24 comments

The True Cost of Staying in an Abusive Relationship: When You Believe You Can’t Do Any Better

A lot of people stay in unhealthy relationships because they have developed a belief that they can’t get another mate….

9 comments

Raising Your Standards in Relationships

A lot of people drift in and out of relationships without any preexisting expectations. Our expectations are our standards and…

16 comments

Do You Control Your Emotions or Do Your Emotions Control You?: Developing Mental Toughness

A few days ago I had one of those eerie ‘synchronicity’ experiences.  I was contacted by a clinically diagnosed Psychopath…

9 comments

Anger: A Tool for Action

This past weekend I was driving home late at night. The moon was huge and bright. The streets were quiet…

15 comments

He Left Me and Now He’s With Her: Is He Happier With Someone Else?

We all have that little voice inside of us that feeds us thoughts about how we are lacking and not good…

0 comments

Are Narcissists Aware of Their Behavior Considering it’s a Personality Disorder?

I have received a few variations of the same question from readers, “Are Narcissists really aware of their behavior considering…

63 comments

Nothing Changes Without Action: Part 3 of the Change Your Life Series

Life can change in an instant. Everyone has the ability to wake up one day and take their life in…

6 comments

Are You Involved with a Boomerang Narcissist?: How Your Behavior Tells You All You Need To Know

There is so much attention given to spotting a Narcissist and whether, or not, you might be involved with one….

55 comments

Taking Control and the Law of Attraction: Part 2 of the Change Your Life Series

In my journey from pain to self-love the first step for me was recognizing who I truly was. As I…

3 comments

“But He Says He Loves Me”: Manipulation Through Words

“Step into my parlor,” said the spider to the fly – is the opening line of a well-known poem by…

35 comments

Spirituality: The Foundation for Change – Part 1 of the Change Your Life Series

Spirituality is the foundation for change. An awareness of who you really are is the building blocks of creating a…

7 comments

Coping with Feelings of Jealousy: When a Narcissist Cheats

Once upon a time you felt like Cinderella. Your Prince Charming made you feel special and so happy, that is…

79 comments

Seeking Revenge Against a Narcissist: Know Thine Enemy

I’ve received a lot of queries lately from people asking how they can get revenge against their Narcissist that left…

175 comments

Healing the Void Within: The Danger of the Maladaptive Coping Mechanism

There is a longing, an aching void that exists deep in the heart of every one of us. We deny…

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Ending a Relationship with a Narcissist: The Art of Detachment

Detachment is the process of letting go. It’s when we start to see things from a different perspective.  When the…

236 comments

Do You Suffer From Same Man Different Face Syndrome?

A few years back, I went through a major life crisis. My mother was fatally injured in a car accident…

14 comments

Caught in the Haze of a Narcissistic Relationship: Walking Away From the Fog and Into the Light

Being caught in the haze of a Narcissistic relationship is being in a state of denial. It’s relative obliviousness to…

60 comments

Why You Should Avoid the Fixer-Upper Man and The Broken Wing Theory

A man with a hard luck story and a broken wing is irresistible to a lot of women. Perhaps, it’s…

19 comments

The Importance of Having and Enforcing Boundaries in Relationships: Why You Need to Draw the Line in the Sand

Boundaries are more than just lines on a map. In relationships, they are mandatory codes of conduct that need to…

21 comments

The Narcissist and His Harem: Why You Should Decline Membership

Think of a Narcissist like a hoarder.  In the same way that a hoarder finds comfort collecting objects a Narcissist…

160 comments

The Importance of Feeling Good: Changing Your Vibrational Frequency

For much of my life I believed that relationships hurt. I thought that love equaled pain, because when I was…

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Help! He Keeps Popping In and Out of My Life: Why They Keep Coming Back

I had a reader tell me that a man she had dated had come back into her life. Years ago,…

40 comments

Self-Esteem – It Really Is A Choice

I get a lot of emails asking the same question, “It’s all well and good to say we determine our…

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Are You Involved With A Broken Down? : Understanding When It’s Time To Fold Em

The biggest mistake a lot of women make is they stick around way too long in their relationships. Many people…

11 comments

Co-Dependency: When You Give Too Much

If you have been involved with a Narcissist, an addict, someone with a compulsive disorder or anyone with emotional or…

12 comments

Narcissists in Long Term Relationships: A Case Study, Part 1

I recently received an email from a reader in Texas. I thought it might be helpful to share her experience…

79 comments

Translating Narcissistic Jargon: Actions Do Speak Louder Than Words

I get a lot of emails from people that are confused about the mixed signals they receive from men in…

55 comments

Is It Love, or Are You Seeking Validation?: When You Don’t Know Your Own Worth

When we get rejected, treated poorly, or someone blows hot and cold in a relationship with us, we often become…

23 comments

Breaking Free: Why Breaking Up With A Narcissist Is Not Your Average Break Up

Breaking up hurts. Rejection on any level sucks, no matter how you slice it. Most people recognize that relationships end…

226 comments
The Three Phases of A Narcissistic Relationship Cycle: Over-Evaluation, Devaluation, Discard

The Three Phases of A Narcissistic Relationship Cycle: Over-Evaluation, Devaluation, Discard

A relationship with a Narcissist has been compared to being on a roller coaster, with immense highs and immense lows….

663 comments

Trying To Beat The Odds In Relationships: What Are You Really ‘Winning’?

There is nothing more tantalizing to a woman than the prospect of being the one who succeeds, where all others…

5 comments

Why You’re Right To Be Guarded: Taking It Slow In New Relationships

Many women, while on a first date with a man, are often already picturing the wedding in their heads, before…

12 comments

The Calling Card of the Narcissist: Narcissistic Relationship Behaviour Patterns

A reader asked, “My relationship with a Narcissist has scared me so much. How am I supposed to trust anyone…

64 comments

The Women of the Narcissist: Understanding Unhealthy Relationship Habits

In the early stages of a relationship with a Narcissist, he seems like the answer to a prayer. He is…

43 comments

What Walks Among Us – Narcissistic Personality Disorder

You’ve just met someone and you are on top of the world.  You’re being lavished with excessive amounts of attention…

39 comments