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The Silent Treatment: A Narcissist’s Tool For Psychological Warfare Developing Self-Esteem Why A Narcissist Stays With Their New Partner Breaking Down the Codependent Coping Mechanism 7 Things Codependents Should Never Do In Relationships Your Environment is a Mirror of Your Self-Esteem The Importance of Positivity Stop Making Everything Your Fault: Interrupting Your Tape Cultivating Self-Respect Why You Should Have a Mentor 2017 The Year of You Surviving the Dysfunctional Christmas: Savannah’s Holiday Survival Tips Why Narcissists Ruin the Holidays Boundaries for Codependents Is it Loneliness or Dependence?: Battling Through the Hurt Your Well-Being Is Your Responsibility Beware That Call In The Middle Of The Night Stop Trying So Hard and Learning When to Let Go Stop Trying to Figure Them Out: Narcissists Don’t Think Like You Do Getting Comfortable in Your Own Skin Learning How to Love Only Those That Love You Keeping Your Dignity in the Face of Injustice Stop Being Other Person Focused and Let Go of the Need to Be Chosen The Subconscious Mind and Changing Your Core Beliefs Overcoming Feelings of Helplessness: You’re More Powerful Than You Think Codependency and Dealing with Crazy People Looking for Love Where It Doesn’t Exist: Stop Giving Away Your Power Savannah’s 13 Steps to Change and Leaving Abusive Relationships Finding Your Self-Worth Codependency and Allowing People to Experience Their Own Consequences Starving For Love: How Our Attachment Style Affects Our Relationships The Effects of the Narcissist’s Disappearing Act: Operant Conditioning and Learned Helplessness He Loves Me, She Loves Me Not: Interpreting Dysfunctional Relationship Behavior Identifying and Conquering Codependent Behaviors Lessons Learned From a Tennis Tournament Doubt, Codependency and the Law of Attraction Learning New Ways to Cope: Taming the Wounded Child Beating the Martyr Syndrome: Putting Yourself First The Importance of Strategy: When Codependents Leave Their Reactions To Chance Kicking Codependency To The Curb: Going Against the Grain – To Fix Or Not To Fix Letting Go Of The Need To Be Perfect Narcissists and the User Mentality: Investing in a Manipulator The Missing Pieces of the Narcissist When We Think We’re So Over Them That We Can Have a Relationship On Our Terms The Importance of Keeping Your Word and Communicating Your Needs Self-Sabotage and Codependency What Do Codependents Look Like Really? The Real Self, The Ideal Self and the Codependent Self When You’re More Concerned with How Your Date Feels About You Why It’s Not a Good Idea to Date Immediately After You Break Up With Your Narcissist Ex The Truth About Fixers, Empaths and Over-Givers No, He’s Not Happier with Her: Do You Want Scientific Proof? Narcissists and Betrayal The Truth About Adversity: The Will To Succeed The Year in Review: 9 Lessons We Learned This Year The Great Christmas Justification and Other Holiday Nonsense The Importance of Maintaining High Emotional Energy The Importance of Releasing Your Grief Energy Being Emotionally Honest Can Mean Standing Alone You Don’t Need To Catch Someone in the Act, Permission, Indisputable Proof, or a Private Investigator to Break Up With Someone Spotting Codependency at Work in Our Lives Healing the Inner Child The Many Faces of Denial: It’s Not Just a River In Narcissistville Working With Your Ex-Narcissist Do You Need to Talk? Skype With Savannah How One Woman Broke Her Narcissist Addiction How I Stopped Hating Myself The Power of Indifference The Practice of Self-Care Letting Go When It’s the Last Thing You Want to Do: Part 2 Letting Go When It’s the Last Thing You Want to Do: Part 1 The Relationship You Have with Yourself: The Most Important Relationship of All Making Molehills Out of Mountains: Minimizing Bad Behavior Narcissists, No Contact and the Spaghetti Technique The 7 Habits of People Who Succeed at Life Why Can’t I Get Over This?: The Never Ending Relationship How The Universe Tells You It’s Time For Change Loyalty, Obligation and Making Your Own Rules The Day I Knew It Was Time To Say Goodbye To My Best Friend We All Want Something Beautiful: Trying to Gain Self-Esteem by Proxy 5 Key Life Lessons I’ve Learned Along the Way But He Has So Many Good Qualities Cultivating the Will to Change: The Key to Motivation Anxiety Kings: A Narcissist’s Inner Battle Are You Afraid of Intimacy? Savannah’s Frequently Asked Questions Letting Go of the Need to Please But We’re Just Friends: A License To Disrespect Inside the Mind of a Narcissist: What’s Really Go On Understanding the Cheating Narcissist: Breakdown, Breakthrough and Breaking Free Are You Overly Critical?: Changing Your Childhood Schemas Healthy is as Healthy Does: The Behaviors of Emotionally Healthy People Your Relationship Behavior: A Barometer of Your Self-Esteem The Most Important Lesson I Ever Forgot Tools of the Trade: A Narcissists Guide to Crazy Making Self-Compassion: A Pillar to Healthy Living The Dance of the Manipulator and Fifty Shades of Savannah Grey Affirmations: The Key to Changing Your Self-Talk Burning Your Bridges: Taking the Ability to Retreat out of Your Hands Ghosts of Valentine’s Day Past When Your Need To Be Loved Supersedes Good Judgment: Becoming a Self-Love Warrior The Obesity/Self-Esteem Dynamic Do You Suffer From The Fixer Mentality? Getting Rid of Unwanted Thoughts and Feelings: The Emotional Freedom Technique or Tapping The Importance of Looking Back Before We Look Forward in the New Year Narcissists and the Amazing Holiday Houdini Act Dealing with Your Narcissist and Other Toxic People over the Holidays The Truth About Hypnosis and Savannah’s New Video Do You Engage in Fantasy Relationships? Are You Being Groomed For Abuse? Discipline The Key To No Contact The Objectificaiton of Women: From Exploitation to Oppression When You Keep Taking Them Back and the Narcissist’s Game How To Be Happy When You’re Heartbroken Interview with a Narcissist – Part Deux: The Return of Max So, You’re Codependent-Now What?: A Step by Step Strategy The Effects of Emotional Child Abuse in Adults The Violent Narcissist: The Battle for Control Healthy Love vs Toxic Love: ‘The List’ Understanding the Other Woman The Nine Signs Your Relationship is Over Standing On Your Own Two Feet and The Formula For Change Narcissists, Online Dating and Serendipity Leaving Co-Dependency Understanding the Parasitic Narcissist Narc Busting and the Making of a Co-Dependent Forgiveness: Letting Go of Anger, Resentment and Bitterness Learning to Trust Again Begins By Learning to Trust Yourself Fakebook: The Illusion of Social Media and Keeping Tabs on Your Ex The Making of a Monster: Causes of NPD Becoming Visible, Picking up the Pieces & Finding You Again Dating after Narcissistic Abuse: Red Flags and Sav’s Dating Do’s and Don’ts Confidence: A Pillar of Growth and Healthy Living The Pitfalls of Dating Post Narcissist Are You Addicted to a Narcissist?: Why No Contact is the Only Way Getting Rid of Limiting Beliefs: The Lefkoe Method Giving In the Name of Love Narcissism and Religion: A Perfect Match The Quality of Our Lives is Determined by the Quality of Our Choices: Learning How to Make Healthy Relationship Choices Falling in Love with Life: Being Present and Living in the Now What Your Behavior Post Break-Up Really Means Spotting a Narcissist: How to Get the Best Return on Your Emotional Investment I See Dead People…Uhhh I Mean Narcissists: Creating the Right Neural Pathways Growing Up Narcissist: The Narcissistic Parent and Child Abuse The Different Faces of Narcissism: Types and Sub-Types Finding the Courage to Walk Away Interview with a Narcissist Being Single is Not a Fatal Disease: Knowing Your Relationship Patterns The You Revolution: Slaying the I’m Not Good Enough Monster Being Authentically You: The Truth About Not Being Good Enough Finding Purpose and Meaning in the Pain Are You Mistaking Intensity for Intimacy? Understanding Trauma Bonds: Part 2 Why Do I Still Love Him?: Understanding Truama Bonds Empowerment: Taking Back Your Personal Power
 

Doubt, Codependency and the Law of Attraction

2016 - May Posted by Savannah Grey 19

Doubt is like the rude uninvited guest that keeps showing up to your party. It’s the rain on your parade. It has the power to completely overhaul your plans, what actions you take and to keep you stuck replaying the same tapes over and over again.

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The Importance of Maintaining High Emotional Energy

2015 - Dec Posted by Savannah Grey 18

I get downright giddy when I see something that I strongly believe in manifest in real life. I never want to wish ill will on someone, but what I witnessed this week reminded me, yet again, of the importance of our emotional energy.

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Letting Go When It’s the Last Thing You Want to Do: Part 2

2015 - Sep Posted by Savannah Grey 43

Sometimes our hearts haven’t quite caught up to our heads and when you throw a little physiology into the mix, getting over a Narcissist can seem like you’re trapped in a maze, unable to find your way out.

As we mentioned last week, the first thing we have to do to extricate ourselves from our dysfunctional relationship, is to become aware that this relationship is toxic and damaging to our sense of self-worth. That’s the easy part, because for the most part, we know when we’re being disrespected and generally treated poorly. The next few steps have to deal with driving an emotional wedge between our addiction to our Narcissist and ourselves, which will allow us to gain distance and some perspective.

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The 7 Habits of People Who Succeed at Life

2015 - Aug Posted by Savannah Grey 10

“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.”     -Iyanla Vanzant

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5 Key Life Lessons I’ve Learned Along the Way

2015 - Jun Posted by Savannah Grey 14

I felt stuck and uncomfortable for much of my life and as much as I tried, I couldn’t figure out a way to get unstuck. In many ways the tragic events that happened on the day my mother was killed seem to have been prophetic. It was a culmination of all of my angst that had built up inside of me. The events

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The Most Important Lesson I Ever Forgot

2015 - Mar Posted by Savannah Grey 27

 “You create your own universe as you go along.” – Winston Churchill

Tanya and her siblings were taken from their home when she was just three. Her mother had tried to kill them by starting a fire in the family home and leaving them alone inside. Tanya was later adopted by kind, but deeply devout Jehovah’s Witness parents. Her adoptive parents moved from the UK to North America and she moved across the pond, leaving her siblings behind. She rebelled against such strict religious doctrines as she got older and was rebuked by the church community and her parents for her teenage angst.

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Being Authentically You: The Truth About Not Being Good Enough

2014 - Feb Posted by Savannah Grey 10

I hate myself.  I am flawed. I am unworthy. No one will ever love me and I will never be good enough. These were the beliefs that I carried around with me for most of my life. This cloak of self-loathing was fastened so tightly around my neck, that I could never get it off. It was always with me as far back as I can remember, so wearing it felt quite normal.  It was a gift, or more like a curse, that was passed down from generation to generation in my family.

When I was a newborn I was good enough. When I was a toddler I was good enough, but somewhere around the time that I had learned to speak and form sentences, I kept getting the message that I was not good enough.  It was with me in adolescence. It became more than apparent as I started dating and when I reached adulthood, every time I pulled up to life’s feast, I would take a few crumbs from the table and pretend that I was full. Everyone around me had plates piled high with delicious delicacies, but never me. Other people were worthy of such things, I was not.  So I accepted the crumbs I got in my relationships and I pretended that that was enough. I accepted the crumbs from my employer and I pretended that that was enough. All I ever got or expected were crumbs and I was starving for something more.

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Nothing Changes Without Action: Part 3 of the Change Your Life Series

2013 - Oct Posted by Savannah Grey 6

Life can change in an instant. Everyone has the ability to wake up one day and take their life in a new direction. Change happens the minute we make a decision and then follow through with immediate and consistent action.

Change usually occurs when we come across something that has an emotional hook for us, when it touches us and hits the right nerve.  It can happen after a crisis, or an incredibly painful experience. Or it can simply be when you’ve reached a point where you say to yourself, that enough is enough, I want more than this.

Science has proven that our energy creates our environment, but I believe that the Law of Attraction and all of its guru’s fall short on one aspect – that nothing happens without action.

We can hope to lose weight, focus on it, believe it, visualize ourselves thin, but if we don’t do something, if we don’t act then nothing changes.

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Taking Control and the Law of Attraction: Part 2 of the Change Your Life Series

2013 - Sep Posted by Savannah Grey 3

In my journey from pain to self-love the first step for me was recognizing who I truly was. As I discussed in part one, entitled Spirituality, when I finally realized that I was this massive, powerful eternal being, my beliefs about me changed. Knowing that I was a huge energy field, capable of all things – I could no longer look at myself as a weak, helpless, out of control, victim.

Once I got that, I realized that all the baggage that I had been carrying around with me wasn’t mine. It belonged to my mother, my father, my siblings, my friends, the bullies at school and every man I had ever dated.  I had been walking around with hundreds of pounds of other people’s junk that didn’t belong to me. I was able to see that the criticism my mom so lavishly heaped on me, was the same baggage that was heaped upon her and I decided I wasn’t going to carry it anymore. When my boyfriends would act in an unkind and disrespectful manner, I stopped taking the blame for it. I stopped internalizing their bad behavior and I gave them back their baggage and handed them their walking papers.

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Seeking Revenge Against a Narcissist: Know Thine Enemy

2013 - Aug Posted by Savannah Grey 171

I’ve received a lot of queries lately from people asking how they can get revenge against their Narcissist that left them. When people are angry and hurting and they realize that they’ve been duped, lied to and manipulated, it’s normal to want the person responsible to feel what you’re feeling.

One of the most difficult things to cope with is watching the one that hurt you, trot off unscathed, while you are left writhing in agony.  While it may look rosy from where he’s standing, keep in mind that while you have the ability to grow and become a better person, your Narcissist does not. So before you start plotting out a method of revenge there are a few things you should consider.

“Know thine enemy and know yourself; in a hundred battles, you will never be defeated. When you are ignorant of the enemy but know yourself, your chances of winning or losing are equal. If ignorant both of your enemy and of yourself, you are sure to be defeated in every battle.” Chinese General Sun Tzu.

 

Do You Suffer From Same Man Different Face Syndrome?

2013 - Jul Posted by Savannah Grey 13

A few years back, I went through a major life crisis. My mother was fatally injured in a car accident and within a few short weeks of that, I had lost everything. I had no parents, no partner, no home, no car, no job and no friends. All of the things that make a person feel safe and secure were gone and I was in no man’s land. It felt as though the rug had been pulled out from under me and I sank into a deep depression.

During my struggle I travelled alone to South America and I stayed there for a long time. I learned to speak Spanish, I climbed the Andes and I tried to do anything and everything to make the pain bearable. Upon my return I immediately left for an Orthodox Monastery in Michigan and spent a few days with the most holy men I have ever met. Depression was new to me. I’ve always been a happy-go-lucky kind of person, but this experience, as horrific as it was, started me on a path of deep soul searching. I needed answers to how my life got so far off track and why I was so miserably unhappy.

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The Importance of Feeling Good: Changing Your Vibrational Frequency

2013 - Jun Posted by Savannah Grey 9

For much of my life I believed that relationships hurt. I thought that love equaled pain, because when I was in love, it always ended up hurting. Somewhere, subconsciously, I believed that that’s how you knew you were in love – it hurt.

Not surprisingly, most if not all of my relationships, ended with me feeling that way, regardless of who did the leaving. Heartache was always my default setting and it went with me everywhere I went.