Scapegoat: The problem child, or the trouble maker in the family. They stand out from their Golden Child and Peace Keeping siblings, because they speak out, or act out – they bring awareness to the dysfunction in the family, intentionally or unintentionally, rather than deny, or avoid, as the others choose to do. They are the only emotionally honest ones in the family and as such, they are the recipient of the Emotionally Abusive Parent’s ire. The family then labels this child as the bad one, or rebellious one and they receive the brunt of the disdain, blame and responsibility for the family’s issues. They serve as the cause of the family strife, a needed distraction for the other family members, keeping them from acknowledging the real problems within the household.
A Narcissistic relationship thrives in an environment of doubt, secrecy and fear. They engage in a plethora of behaviors designed to create just that. Lying, gas lighting, projection, deflection, insulting, belittling, humiliating, crocodile tears, love-bombing…are just some of the many ways Narcissists go about concealing their agenda and their true intentions.
A lot of people get taken in by the facade and the bravado displayed by the Narcissists in their lives. Confidence is sexy, there’s no doubt about it, but Narcissists tend to display an immeasurable amount of confidence without the corresponding accomplishments to back up their attitude. This is one of the most important measuring sticks when you’re trying to evaluate whether or not you’re involved with a Narcissist.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to get back to all the questions I receive every day. Here’s a few great ones from this past month that I’m sure others can relate to. I’ve changed the names, places and descriptions to protect the author’s identity, as well, I’ve edited down the original text for spacial purposes.
Q. I have read your blog for a while now. The reason why I am reaching out to you is
A relationship usually goes through 4 stages. First you have two single people, next is dating, followed by a committed couple, which is then proceeded by marriage. People and relationships can stall out at any stage or remain at one stage for long periods of time.
Invoking jealousy, creating drama and forcing their partners to make impossible choices are just a few of the ways a Narcissist gets his fix and maintains control.
If a Narcissist can make you feel insecure and be the center of attention at the same time, they are creating their ideal scene for maximum payout. In their mind, to have more than one person wanting them, fighting over them, shows them that they are important, desired and worthy. It doesn’t matter that they have set the scene and
“Then you must make your future dream a present fact. You do this by assuming the feeling of your wish fulfilled. By desiring to be other than what you are, you can create an ideal of the person you want to be and assume that you are already that person. If this assumption is persisted in until it becomes your dominant feeling, the attainment of your ideal is inevitable..” Neville Goddard The Power of Awareness copyright 1952
About the Author
Savannah Grey is a Freelance Writer, Hypnotherapist, Sports Fanatic and Philosopher. She has a degree in Psychology and is the founder of esteemology.com, a website dedicated to educating and healing survivors of abusive relationships.